Relationships, Meditation, Energy work, Breath work, Psychotherapy
Living from The Heart's Blog
‘To work with love. . . is to weave the cloth with threads drawn from your heart, even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth.’ Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
Living from The Heart’s blog is heart centred focussing on bringing consciousness, balance and connection into all relationships which is the essence of life.
This is an age of headlines and soundbites. The internet is packed full of information but typically runs low on wisdom. My articles are repeated attempts to provide people with a an understanding of issues at hand, and the wisdom to know how to address these issues in your personal life. How you think and perceive the world and your place within it, shapes your intentions and your actions Every action has consequences. It creates the future, and is an echo from your past, which impacts your essence through memory, desire and imagination.
A shift in your consciousness begins when you align yourself with the best version of yourself. This process serves as a bridge to your transformation and awakening.
When you begin to wake up to the light, you also begin to become aware of the darkness in which you have been living.
The task of integrating mind, body and spirit is fundamental to becoming more conscious in your relationships.
Here you will find a collection thoughts on Psychotherapy Healing, spirituality and Relationships.
Themes include Mind, Body, Spirit, Emotional Wellbeing, Sexuality, Shamanism, Mysticism, Energy Work, Meditation, Breath work, Empowerment and Vitality.
Aisha currently offers individual and group psychotherapy in London face to face and internationally via the phone and Skype. Aisha offers Workshops, Training, Retreats and Couples and Relationship Therapy worldwide.
Over the past 20 years Aisha has worked with people from from all walks of life, helping them on their path of healing and wellness. Her clients enjoy her intuitive insight and compassionate approach.
- - Find your Flow
ARE YOU READY TO FIND YOUR FLOW?
There are moments in life when everything just seems to feel right.
Things go according to plan, relationships are full of energy and love, and life just flows.
When you feel strong, you feel safe, feeling safe allows you to feel your vulnerability.
FLOW a short and simple word describes a sense of seemingly effortless movement.
When your concentration is focused. Your mind does not wander; you are totally involved in what you are doing. Your energy is flowing very smoothly. You feel relaxed, comfortable, and energetic.
Have you ever felt like that?
A blissful feeling that warms and enlivens you. When you know who you are and what you want in life. When you are on a path to achieving goals that you truly value. You feel excited and motivated. You feel focused and full of energy. You feel connected. You feel alive.
Everything you experience joy or pain, interest or boredom is embodied in both mind and body as information. If you are able to manage this information, you can decide what your life will be like.
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” Lao-Tzu
Flow happens when there is order in consciousness. This happens when your energy or attention is invested in realistic goals, and when your skills match the opportunities for taking action.
Flow is a form of energy that can create more positive energy.
Finding your Flow weekend workshop will explore the process of achieving happiness through achieving mastery over your inner life. You will begin by considering how consciousness works, and how it is achieved.
“Flow with whatever is happening and let your mind be free. Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate.” – Chuang Tzu
Working together, we can find flow by:
• Increasing your self awareness
• Creating new definitions of success
• Setting clear and realistic goals
• Understanding your motivation
• Being proactive
• Not stressing about your performance or trying to force yourself to do things
• Cultivating an environment that is conducive to flow by healthy habits
• Giving yourself enough time
• Minimizing interruptions and distractions
• Being mindful and monitoring your emotional states
• Recognising your achievements
• Practicing gratitude
When you are in flow, you work towards freedom and security. You have balance and direction and you are doing what makes you feel alive.
YOU are responsible for your happiness.
Fear of vulnerability creates tension, being on constant guard, terrified of a future that does not yet exist creates suffering. The belief is that if you are protected or feel safe, you cannot be harmed is not the same as being strong.
No matter how much structure you create in your life, there will always be things that you cannot control; if you allow it, these things can be a huge source of anger, frustration and stress.
When you resist it’s like trying to swim upstream against a strong current getting nowhere. You may end up completely exhausted and out of breath!
The simple solution: learn to go with the flow.
“Smile, breathe and go slowly.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Going with the flow, this means rolling with the punches. Accepting change without getting angry or frustrated. Embracing what life gives you, rather than trying to mold life to be exactly as you want it to be.
Finding your Flow is a fully immersive transformational weekend workshop, where you will be guided finding your flow. Through your senses, sound, movement and stories you will begin to move into flow, enabling the energy of your heart to flow fully. You will journey towards your authentic self finding strength in vulnerability – without the need to hide or run away. When you are in flow you become fully available to yourself and others, opening you up to give and receive love.
Fee per person is £160 the workshop will be held at Adamson Road London NW3 10 -4pmBook NowBy Aisha Ali on August 15, 2017
- - Learn to resolve conflict without damaging your relationship
Finding Calm in Conflict
Learn to argue without damaging your relationship.
When you live from the heart you feel calm and energetic, accomplished, joyful, strong and at ease. Great relationships thrive in this place.
When I work with couples, I observe how they argue. I can tell a lot about whether couples are going to make it and help them move towards more loving and successful relationships. There are changes couples can make in their responses to each other that can make a huge difference to their relationship.
Frequent arguments, lack of communication, fear of conflict, heated exchanges, and avoidance of issues are all common complaints among couples I work with.
Learn to argue well = conflict resolution
The impact of high conflict in relationships creates negative emotions and anxiety for everyone including your children if you have them, your parenting skills are no good when you are arguing.
The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse
These are four hostile forms of communication that put couples at high risk for breaking up or divorce when these patterns become habits.
Criticism blame and character attacks general complaining. Antidote stay specific, issue simple complaints using I statements; I feel taken advantage of when….
Defensiveness be aware of your own behaviour; righteous indignation, or being an innocent victim as a way of turning your back on a perceived attack. Defensiveness is destructive because it escalates tension and creates an adversarial interaction. You might feel taken advantage of, just as much as you might not accept your accountability and responsibility in the situation. The antidote, try empathy active listening repeat back what your partner has described as their complaint adding empathy and accepting responsibility.
Contempt bolstered by hostility and anger is damaging, eye rolling and name calling are markers of contempt it is damaging to health and builds a lack of respect. The antidote to this is to build fondness and admiration, express admiration and gratitude to build appreciation and respect.
Stonewalling withdrawing, lack of expression, no emotional connection, monitoring gazes, not listening exiting the room avoiding conflict.
Antidote ask permission to disengage with the conflict if it is too much instead of disengaging in a hostile way and reconnecting in a more connected way. Arranging a time when this is possible.
Flooding John Gottman has a vivid word for this physiological “fight-or-flight” reaction. Flooding occurs when you have hostile arguments where the Four Horseman (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) are allowed free reign.
Physical signs of flooding are; rapid heart rate, high blood pressure, sweating, and the overwhelming urge to leave or to say something hurtful. When flooded, you operate from a self-preservation mind set. You seek mainly to protect yourself from the turmoil of an escalating argument, either by becoming aggressive verbally or physically, or by trying to get away.
Take notice of your partner’s anger to resolve conflict before it erupts.
How to resolve conflict
- Focus on building friendship, appreciation and goodwill toward each other. This provides a solid foundation for effectively using communication and conflict resolution skills.
- The greatest relationship needs are; being seen, heard, and understood. Getting these three basic desires met takes empathy and compassion. Mastering empathy is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy long-term relationship, it is key to being happier.
- Conflict is bad for children, conflict puts children at risk of acting out behaviours, depression, anxiety, poor self esteem, trouble sleeping and health problems- Children learn how to fight and resolve conflict from observing you.
- When you are in conflict, it is easy for ‘opponents’ to do damage if you are trying to win the situation or not take responsibility, make a choice to solve conflict together. If you think separately I am going to win this argument there will be a win / lose situation rather than a win / win.
- Are you over invested in ‘being right’ and in your own point of view? There are some things worth arguing about, as there are times when you need to accept a different point of view and move on.
- Successful couples commit to having the tough discussions, by focusing on a shared desired outcome. It is easier if you can focus on kindness first.
- Many people clam up when it’s time to express your true feelings. You may want to be tough and strong. You may be afraid of looking foolish. Being vulnerable is about the bravest thing you can do.
- Learn to patiently accept others for who and where they are, open your heart, and notice how your relationships soften.
- You may unconsciously choose relationships that force you to learn what you need to learn. Be open to the lessons that your relationships can teach you about yourself.
3 steps to conflict resolution
- Start with I statements and an expression of appreciation then a statement about how you feel taken for granted or unappreciated etc…
- You need to stay calm to be able to problem solve, the effort used by part of brain when you are angry is not conducive to conflict resolution, your heart rate may increase you may be flooded with anger, you might be entering a zone that is dangerous need to stop the conversation and come back 20 mins later. Try to reengage when you feel flooded. Stop- put the brakes on. Take a walk get the adrenaline out of your system try meditation. If someone is really angry with you be neutral in the situation. Learn to self-soothe and soothe your partner through appropriate time-outs and self-reflection. Many people store up resentments and unexpressed grievances until they are furious, leaving the other person feeling blindsided and attacked. It’s much more effective to talk about problems when you are not upset.
- Accept your partners’ influence and learn to solve the problem together Are you able to take on board your partners suggestions and point of view? This is not just about compromising. See and accept your partner, they are likely to do the same in return if you do not set them up as your opponent. Sit side by side look at the problem together, brain storm solutions to resolve conflict find a good enough solution you are willing to try. You are more likely to be left with something each of you really want. Accept and hold your own ground. Learn to accept your differences and not be threatened by them.
Recognise the cycle that you have created together, take ownership of your part in that cycle. Change the cycle by interrupting it, by changing your usual response, step back and doing something different. This is often the very opposite of what you feel like doing in the moment.
What fight have you recently found yourself starting? How will you approach the problem in the future?
FOR MORE INFORMATION OR TO BOOK A COUPLES APPOINTMENT OR INTENSIVEBook
Get in touch with Aisha directly on 07855 781210By Aisha Ali on June 30, 2017
- - Chi Kung and Meditation
Remerge with your soul on Living from The Heart Chi Kung & Meditation Retreat 7th – 14th SeptemberOrder brings sameness. Chaos brings newness every moment.
The problem is first overcoming your fear of chaos, and then mining for the great ideas and bringing them back home.
There is a lot of chaos and creativity in the world at the moment.
The world is changing at an ever increasing rate.
Globally politics, society, and culture is in the midst of transformation, old structures are no longer working.
Your personal Renaissance
Renaissance periods happen after a time of great darkness. things “seem” to be getting darker, those with the light within them are shining even brighter, and searching for answers beyond the veil of corruption.
The Renaissance changed the world in just about every way you can think of. Each new intellectual advance paved the way for further advancements.
Consciousness is the product of carefully balanced chaos.
There are times in life when you may feel motivated, ambitious, eager, and anticipatory. Great strides can be made in many different aspects of your life as a mental renaissance takes place…the cold, hard, dark age of the mind is over and a new light; the light of innovation; shines down upon your mental and emotional landscape, giving birth to something quite extraordinary.
Do you feel called to look inward for answers?
I am a great believer that life always offers you an opportunity for greater consciousness, if you can see that everything in your life is there in support of your growth.
It is said that humans, are a small universe interacting with the ‘big’ universe.
As a Psychotherapist, I know well how the mind can either heal us or harm us. Your thoughts are potent and can affect you profoundly.
In meditation, I have practiced shifting the monkey mind; which is constantly chatting about negative thoughts and worry; into a loving calm energy of the heart.
Join me for Living from The Heart Retreat in Portugal 7th – 14th September chi kung, meditation, retreat. It will be a Soul boosting Week of Personal & Professional Development with +30 hours of CPD (if required)
Fill your life with renewed energy, feel alive, increase your awareness with careful attention and balance of meditation and activity.
Evaluating your belief system and developing a positive one that nurtures your mind, body, and spirit may help you find more loving calm and peaceful experiences with yourself and in your relationships.
Free yourself from your worries. Do you sometimes ask yourself?
- How can I access my inner force and develop my unique talents?
- How can I build better relationships?
- How can I evolve and extend my view of the world?
- How can I face the realities in my life?
- How can I nurture unconditional love and compassion for myself and others?
During the week on the chi kung, meditation, retreat you will;
Find freedom from stress and enter a calm, relaxed and natural state of clarity
- Activate your life force and strengthen and energise your body and mind
- Be truly present in the moment and deepen your awareness
- Contemplate, reflect and widen your understanding of life
- Learn about the intelligence of the heart and its unique consciousness and power
- Develop your health and unlimited potential.
On the chi kung & meditation, retreat; you will cultivate a sustained and gentle attentiveness to the movement and stillness of body, heart and mind. As you bring investigation and kindness to this constantly changing experience of life, the entanglements that bind you become more visible, allowing you to soften and open to the simple perfection of the moment.
Through this cultivation you can access a spaciousness, which allows your natural compassion and wisdom to become more available to you.
The Chi Kung practice is very much part of a meditative inquiry, using simple standing and moving exercises suitable for all levels of experience and health
The retreat will be run in a tranquil location in the forested hills of Central Portugal, situated far from the crowds, just 3 km from the beautiful ‘Castelo de Bode’ lake and 8 km from the small town of Cernache de Bonjardim. The small valley is surrounded by eucalyptus, pine and oak. The trees full, lush foliage create masses of the Qi or Chi (pronounced chee) life force that deflects toxic energy. The old manor house which has been lovingly restored with many of the original features preserved, provides en-suite bedrooms.
Attend alone, bring your partner, friend or family member to a build a more successful relationship or rejuvenate an existing one.
Bring all aspects of your physical, emotional, energetic, mental and spiritual bodies back into alignment and harmony.
This week is open to both individuals and couples.
On this intimate retreat, you will clear anger, resentments, disappointments and grievances to move towards expansion and growth.
Working within a group allows you to explore your history to create a future of experiences where you are the director of your life, creating a new context within which to live your life.
You will experience a calm oasis within a small valley surrounded by eucalyptus, pine and oak Trees. Full of of chi, Trees with full, lush foliage create masses of the Qi or Chi (pronounced chee) life force that deflects toxic energy. A wonderful place to Heal the Heart.The environment lends itself to profound healing and meditative work to gain perspective and healing introspection.
There will be a heart-expanding exploration within the group work, meditations, reflective exercises and mind and body practices. The morning session will usually consist of breath work and Chi Kung; the afternoon sessions will be a mixture of meditation and various group exercises centered on healing the heart with time to digest the work and complete self directed tasks allowing time to stop and stare, while enjoying the surroundings of forested hills and nearby lakes and rivers.
There are places in the world, where you can feel the connection with the divine one of them is Dornes by the Lakes and rivers, known for its strong energy field. Such a place can provide answers to a long unanswered questions and make you feel the energy on a more concentrated spiritual level.By Aisha Ali on June 2, 2017
Loving Kindness & Compassion
‘When love has carried us above all things . . . we receive in peace the Incomprehensible Light, enfolding us and penetrating us. What is this Light, if it be not a contemplation of the Infinite, and an intuition of Eternity? We behold that which we are, and we are that which we behold; because our being, without losing anything of its own personality, is united with the Divine Truth.” Ruysbroeck
The darkest week of the year marked by the Winter solstice has arrived along with Mercury retrograde, this is always a time of truth, when communications seem disrupted and misunderstandings are rife, misunderstandings themselves are part of the truth of being human. Mercury is retrograde from 19th December – 8th January, giving us a chance to address short comings and mistakes and correct the course of events.
The experience of darkness, shadow or Dark Night of the Soul, is necessary in order to feel the emerging light as celebratory, many people want to avoid the darkness. There is something fearful about the absence of physical light because it evokes the dark side of the psyche; your fears and depressed moods, your envies and secret longings.
Ask yourself; ‘What truth does this reveal to me, and why have I needed it revealed in this way at this time?’
In the darkest part of the year when the days are shortest, Mother Nature reminds every body to slow down, enjoy time with loved ones, to be open to listening. A time to move towards the vibration of compassion to become more effective in your relationships.
The days after the winter solstice begin to lengthen, shifting from the darkest part of the year back into the ever increasing light, is a perfect time to clear the old to make room for the new.
Many people feel unsettled about the global changes taking place, this has been accompanied by low vibrational emotions such as anger, blame, self-judgment, hopelessness, frustration, fear and worry, that do not serve consciousness nor good decision making.
Distress is alleviated by attending to yourself and your inner turmoil.
Everything you do and think affects the people in your life and their reactions to you. The choices you make have consequences. Each of us carries within the capacity to change the world in small ways for better or worse.
Every single effect within the world, upon the earth has a cause, an original starting point.
All paths have an original first step and from that first step comes a chain reaction of events with further offshoots spanning out in all directions and so on duplication and replication takes place.
All your thoughts and your behaviour and movements affect the entire universe according to the law of cause and effect.
When was the last time you were truly kind to yourself? Not just rewards and gifts, but true kindness?
Only when you have established a kind relationship with yourself can you begin to be truly loving with others; love is generated and experienced from within. In this state you are able to really open your hearts in our treatment of others.
Learning to treat yourself with kindness, to open your heart to yourself and others is the first and most important step in cultivating loving-kindness and compassion;
The passage of Mercury retrograde is a gift from the heavens giving you an opportunity to reflect, take stock, review, and correct mistakes you may previously have made in the rush, take your time to make conscious choices and plant seeds of new perspectives.
When you experience the true depth of the darkness of despair, tears might well up spontaneously, it can have a soothing effect. It changes your physiology from sympathetic nervous system defense and denial patterns into parasympathetic relaxation states. It improves your perspective on the world, especially if this disclosure is shared with another person. When you give into the exhaustion, you might fall into a restful and healing sleep, a sleep that could last a few minutes or hours. You can awaken feeling loving kindness compassion renewed and rested.
Being in contact with your bodily sensations, hidden rage towards a current or past injustice, an unexpressed desire for fulfillment or failure is not about acting on them but simply about feeling them. When you do this, what you have hidden from yourself in darkness can now be revealed in the light of awareness. You can become more completely yourself, more confident and more fully alive.
If then, we would indeed restore mankind by truly botanic, magnetic, or natural means, let us first be as simple and well as Nature ourselves, dispel the clouds which hang over our brows, and take up a little life into our pores. Do not stay to be an overseer of the poor, but endeavor to become of the worthies of the world.” Henry David Thoreau
Sometimes the “life” you need to take in feels like a retreat and a loss. Nature herself waxes and wanes, grows and recedes, lives and dies. In the midst of this shifting and change is one certainty.
The inner eternal light will naturally follow the dark time of the soul; it’s the way of the earth and of all her creatures.
By practicing the relaxation techniques on a daily basis, you learn to let go of the unhealthy emotional states that lead to the physical and emotional tension. Meditation includes a strong element of bodily relaxation.
You can learn how to directly affect your emotional and mental states, promoting calmness and contentment. Learning how your body/ mind interacts will help you to influence your emotional states by regulating your posture and breathing and lifestyle.
Restoring Mind, Body, Spirit Retreat 27th – 29th January 2017 can help you to become more aware of how to make conscious choices that lead to outcomes that are more supportive of your well being and happiness.