ARE YOU READY TO FIND YOUR FLOW?

There are moments in life when everything just seems to feel right.
Things go according to plan, relationships are full of energy and love, and life just flows.

When you feel strong, you feel safe, feeling safe allows you to feel your vulnerability.

FLOW a short and simple word describes a sense of seemingly effortless movement.

When your concentration is focused. Your mind does not wander; you are totally involved in what you are doing. Your energy is flowing very smoothly. You feel relaxed, comfortable, and energetic.

HELLO FLOW,

Have you ever felt like that?

A blissful feeling that warms and enlivens you. When you know who you are and what you want in life. When you are on a path to achieving goals that you truly value. You feel excited and motivated. You feel focused and full of energy. You feel connected. You feel alive.

Everything you experience joy or pain, interest or boredom is embodied in both mind and body as information. If you are able to manage this information, you can decide what your life will be like.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” Lao-Tzu

Flow happens when there is order in consciousness. This happens when your energy or attention is invested in realistic goals, and when your skills match the opportunities for taking action.

FIND Your FLOW  

Flow is a form of energy that can create more positive energy.

Finding your Flow weekend workshop will explore the process of achieving happiness through achieving mastery over your inner life. You will begin by considering how consciousness works, and how it is achieved.

“Flow with whatever is happening and let your mind be free. Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate.” – Chuang Tzu

Working together, we can find flow by:

• Increasing your self awareness
• Creating new definitions of success
• Setting clear and realistic goals
• Understanding your motivation
• Being proactive
• Not stressing about your performance or trying to force yourself to do things
• Cultivating an environment that is conducive to flow by healthy habits
• Giving yourself enough time
• Minimizing interruptions and distractions
• Being mindful and monitoring your emotional states
• Recognising your achievements
• Practicing gratitude

When you are in flow, you work towards freedom and security. You have balance and direction and you are doing what makes you feel alive.

YOU are responsible for your happiness.
Fear of vulnerability creates tension, being on constant guard, terrified of a future that does not yet exist creates suffering. The belief is that if you are protected or feel safe, you cannot be harmed is not the same as being strong.

No matter how much structure you create in your life, there will always be things that you cannot control; if you allow it, these things can be a huge source of anger, frustration and stress.

When you resist it’s like trying to swim upstream against a strong current getting nowhere. You may end up completely exhausted and out of breath!

The simple solution: learn to go with the flow.

“Smile, breathe and go slowly.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

Going with the flow, this means rolling with the punches. Accepting change without getting angry or frustrated. Embracing what life gives you, rather than trying to mold life to be exactly as you want it to be.

Finding your Flow is a fully immersive transformational weekend workshop, where you will be guided finding your flow. Through your senses, sound, movement and stories you will begin to move into flow, enabling the energy of your heart to flow fully. You will journey towards your authentic self finding strength in vulnerability – without the need to hide or run away. When you are in flow you become fully available to yourself and others, opening you up to give and receive love.

London NW3 | 10 -4pm

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Finding Calm in Conflict

Learn to argue without damaging your relationship.

When you live from the heart you feel calm and energetic, accomplished, joyful, strong and at ease. Great relationships thrive in this place.

 When I work with couples, I observe how they  argue. I can tell a lot about whether couples are going to make it and help them move towards more loving and successful relationships. There are changes couples can make in their responses to each other that can make a huge difference to their relationship.

Frequent arguments, lack of communication, fear of conflict, heated exchanges, and avoidance of issues are all common complaints among couples I work with.

Learn to argue well = conflict resolution

The impact of high conflict in relationships creates negative emotions and anxiety for everyone including your children if you have them, your parenting skills are no good when you are arguing.

The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse

These are four hostile forms of communication that put couples at high risk for breaking up or divorce when these patterns become habits.

Criticism blame and character attacks general complaining. Antidote stay specific, issue simple complaints using I statements; I feel taken advantage of when….

Defensiveness be aware of your own behaviour; righteous indignation, or being an innocent victim as a way of turning your back on a perceived attack. Defensiveness is destructive because it escalates tension and creates an adversarial interaction. You might feel taken advantage of, just as much as you might not accept your accountability and responsibility in the situation. The antidote, try empathy active listening repeat back what your partner has described as their complaint adding empathy and accepting responsibility.

Contempt bolstered by hostility and anger is damaging, eye rolling and name calling are markers of contempt it is damaging to health and builds a lack of respect. The antidote to this is to build fondness and admiration, express admiration and gratitude to build appreciation and respect.

 Stonewalling withdrawing, lack of expression, no emotional connection, monitoring gazes, not listening exiting the room avoiding conflict.

Antidote ask permission to disengage with the conflict if it is too much instead of disengaging in a hostile way and reconnecting in a more connected way. Arranging a time when this is possible.

Flooding John Gottman has a vivid word for this physiological “fight-or-flight” reaction. Flooding occurs when you have hostile arguments where the Four Horseman (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) are allowed free reign.

Physical signs of flooding are; rapid heart rate, high blood pressure, sweating, and the overwhelming urge to leave or to say something hurtful. When flooded, you operate from a self-preservation mind set. You seek mainly to protect yourself from the turmoil of an escalating argument, either by becoming aggressive verbally or physically, or by trying to get away.

Take notice of your partner’s anger to resolve conflict before it erupts.

How to resolve conflict

• Focus on building friendship, appreciation and goodwill toward each other. This provides a solid foundation for effectively using communication and conflict resolution skills.

• The greatest relationship needs are; being seen, heard, and understood. Getting these three basic desires met takes empathy and compassion. Mastering empathy is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy long-term relationship, it is key to being happier.

• Conflict is bad for children, conflict puts children at risk of acting out behaviours, depression, anxiety, poor self esteem, trouble sleeping and health problems- Children learn how to fight and resolve conflict from observing you.

• When you are in conflict, it is easy for ‘opponents’ to do damage if  you are trying to win the situation or not take responsibility, make a choice to solve conflict together. If you think separately I am going to win this argument there will be a win / lose situation rather than a win / win.

• Are you over invested in ‘being right’ and in your own point of view? There are some things worth arguing about, as there are times when you need to accept a different point of view and move on.

• Successful couples commit to having the tough discussions, by focusing on a shared desired outcome. It is easier if you can focus on kindness first.

• Many people clam up when it’s time to express your true feelings. You may want to be tough and strong. You may be afraid of looking foolish. Being vulnerable is about the bravest thing you can do.

• Learn to patiently accept others for who and where they are, open your heart, and notice how your relationships soften.

• You may unconsciously choose relationships that force you to learn what you need to learn. Be open to the lessons that your relationships can teach you about yourself.

3 steps to conflict resolution

1. Start with I statements and an expression of appreciation then a statement about how you feel taken for granted or unappreciated etc…

2. You need to stay calm to be able to problem solve, the effort used by part of brain when you are angry is not conducive to conflict resolution, your heart rate may increase you may be flooded with anger, you might be entering a zone that is dangerous need to stop the conversation and come back 20 mins later. Try to reengage when you feel flooded.  Stop-  put the brakes on. Take a walk get the adrenaline out of your system try meditation. If someone is really angry with you be neutral in the situation. Learn to self-soothe and soothe your partner through appropriate time-outs and self-reflection. Many people store up resentments and unexpressed grievances until they are furious, leaving the other person feeling blindsided and attacked. It’s much more effective to talk about problems when you are not upset.

3. Accept your partners’ influence and learn to solve the problem together Are you able to take on board your partners suggestions and point of view? This is not just about compromising. See and accept your partner, they are likely to do the same in return if you do not set them up as your opponent. Sit side by side look at the problem together, brain storm solutions to resolve conflict find a good enough solution you are willing to try. You are more likely to be left with something each of you really want. Accept and hold your own ground. Learn to accept your differences and not be threatened by them.

Recognise the cycle that you have created together, take ownership of your part in that cycle. Change the cycle by interrupting it, by changing your usual response, step back and doing something different. This is often the very opposite of what you feel like doing in the moment.

What fight have you recently found yourself starting? How will you approach the problem in the future?

FOR MORE INFORMATION OR TO BOOK A COUPLES APPOINTMENT OR INTENSIVE

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Get in touch with Aisha directly on 07855 781210 

 

Remerge with your soul on Living from The Heart Chi Kung & Meditation Retreat 7th – 14th September 

Order brings sameness. Chaos brings newness every moment.
The problem is first overcoming your fear of chaos, and then mining for the great ideas and bringing them back home.

There is a lot of chaos and creativity in the world at the moment.

The world is changing at an ever increasing rate.

Globally politics, society, and culture is in the midst of transformation, old structures are no longer working.

Your personal Renaissance

Renaissance periods happen after a time of great darkness. things “seem” to be getting darker, those with the light within them are shining even brighter, and searching for answers beyond the veil of corruption.

The Renaissance changed the world in just about every way you can think of. Each new intellectual advance paved the way for further advancements.

Consciousness is the product of carefully balanced chaos.

There are times in life when you may feel motivated, ambitious, eager, and anticipatory. Great strides can be made in many different aspects of your life as a mental renaissance takes place…the cold, hard, dark age of the mind is over and a new light; the light of innovation; shines down upon your mental and emotional landscape, giving birth to something quite extraordinary.

Do you feel called to look inward for answers?

I am a great believer that life always offers you an opportunity for greater consciousness, if you can see that everything in your life is there in support of your growth.
It is said that humans, are a small universe interacting with the ‘big’ universe.

As a Psychotherapist, I know well how the mind can either heal us or harm us. Your thoughts are potent and can affect you profoundly.
In meditation, I have practiced shifting the monkey mind; which is constantly chatting about negative thoughts and worry; into a loving calm energy of the heart.

Join me for  Living from The Heart Retreat in Portugal 7th – 14th September chi kung, meditation, retreat. It will be a Soul boosting Week of Personal & Professional Development with +30 hours of CPD (if required)

Fill your life with renewed energy, feel alive, increase your awareness with careful attention and balance of meditation and activity.

Evaluating your belief system and developing a positive one that nurtures your mind, body, and spirit may help you find more loving calm and peaceful experiences with yourself and in your relationships.

Free yourself from your worries. Do you sometimes ask yourself?

• How can I access my inner force and develop my unique talents?
• How can I build better relationships?
• How can I evolve and extend my view of the world?
• How can I face the realities in my life?
• How can I nurture unconditional love and compassion for myself and others?

During the week on the chi kung, meditation, retreat you will;

Find freedom from stress and enter a calm, relaxed and natural state of clarity

• Activate your life force and strengthen and energise your body and mind
• Be truly present in the moment and deepen your awareness
• Contemplate, reflect and widen your understanding of life
• Learn about the intelligence of the heart and its unique consciousness and power
• Develop your health and unlimited potential.

On the chi kung & meditation, retreat; you will cultivate a sustained and gentle attentiveness to the movement and stillness of body, heart and mind. As you bring investigation and kindness to this constantly changing experience of life, the entanglements that bind you become more visible, allowing you to soften and open to the simple perfection of the moment.

Through this cultivation you can access a spaciousness, which allows your natural compassion and wisdom to become more available to you.

The Chi Kung practice is very much part of a meditative inquiry, using simple standing and moving exercises suitable for all levels of experience and health

The retreat will be run in a tranquil location in the forested hills of Central Portugal, situated far from the crowds, just 3 km from the beautiful ‘Castelo de Bode’ lake and 8 km from the small town of Cernache de Bonjardim. The small valley is surrounded by eucalyptus, pine and oak. The trees full, lush foliage create masses of the Qi or Chi (pronounced chee) life force that deflects toxic energy. The old manor house which has been lovingly restored with many of the original features preserved, provides en-suite bedrooms.

Attend alone, bring your partner, friend or family member to a build a more successful relationship or rejuvenate an existing one.

Bring all aspects of your physical, emotional, energetic, mental and spiritual bodies back into alignment and harmony.

This week is open to both individuals and couples.

On this intimate retreat, you will clear anger, resentments, disappointments and grievances to move towards expansion and growth.

Working within a group allows you to explore your history to create a future of experiences where you are the director of your life, creating a new context within which to live your life.

You will experience a calm oasis within a small valley surrounded by eucalyptus, pine and oak Trees. Full of of chi, Trees with full, lush foliage create masses of the Qi or Chi (pronounced chee) life force that deflects toxic energy. A wonderful place to Heal the Heart.The environment lends itself to profound healing and meditative work to gain perspective and healing introspection.

There will be a heart-expanding exploration within the group work, meditations, reflective exercises and mind and body practices. The morning session will usually consist of breath work and Chi Kung; the afternoon sessions will be a mixture of meditation and various group exercises centered on healing the heart with time to digest the work and complete self directed tasks allowing time to stop and stare, while enjoying the surroundings of forested hills and nearby lakes and rivers.

There are places in the world, where you can feel the connection with the divine one of them is Dornes by the Lakes and rivers, known for its strong energy field. Such a place can provide answers to a long unanswered questions and make you feel the energy on a more concentrated spiritual level.

Loving Kindness & Compassion

‘When love has carried us above all things . . . we receive in peace the Incomprehensible Light, enfolding us and penetrating us. What is this Light, if it be not a contemplation of the Infinite, and an intuition of Eternity? We behold that which we are, and we are that which we behold; because our being, without losing anything of its own personality, is united with the Divine Truth.” Ruysbroeck

The darkest week of the year marked by the Winter solstice has arrived along with Mercury retrograde, this is always a time of truth, when communications seem disrupted and misunderstandings are rife, misunderstandings themselves are part of the truth of being human. Mercury is retrograde from 19^th December – 8^th January, giving us a chance to address short comings and mistakes and correct the course of events.

The experience of darkness, shadow or Dark Night of the Soul, is necessary in order to feel the emerging light as celebratory, many people want to avoid the darkness. There is something fearful about the absence of physical light because it evokes the dark side of the psyche; your fears and depressed moods, your envies and secret longings.

Ask yourself; ‘What truth does this reveal to me, and why have I needed it revealed in this way at this time?’

In the darkest part of the year when the days are shortest, Mother Nature reminds every body to slow down, enjoy time with loved ones, to be open to listening. A time to move towards the vibration of compassion to become more effective in your relationships.

The days after the winter solstice begin to lengthen, shifting from the darkest part of the year back into the ever increasing light, is a perfect time to clear the old to make room for the new.

Many people feel unsettled about the global changes taking place, this has been accompanied by low vibrational emotions such as anger, blame, self-judgment, hopelessness, frustration, fear and worry, that do not serve consciousness nor good decision making.

Distress is alleviated by attending to yourself and your inner turmoil.

Everything you do and think affects the people in your life and their reactions to you. The choices you make have consequences. Each of us carries within the capacity to change the world in small ways for better or worse.

Every single effect within the world, upon the earth has a cause, an original starting point.

All paths have an original first step and from that first step comes a chain reaction of events with further offshoots spanning out in all directions and so on duplication and replication takes place.

All your thoughts and your behaviour and movements affect the entire universe according to the law of cause and effect.

When was the last time you were truly kind to yourself? Not just rewards and gifts, but true kindness?

Only when you have established a kind relationship with yourself can you begin to be truly loving with others; love is generated and experienced from within. In this state you are able to really open your hearts in our treatment of others.

Learning to treat yourself with kindness, to open your heart to yourself and others is the first and most important step in cultivating loving-kindness and compassion;

The passage of Mercury retrograde is a gift from the heavens giving you an opportunity to reflect, take stock, review, and correct mistakes you may previously have made in the rush, take your time to make conscious choices and plant seeds of new perspectives.

When you experience the true depth of the darkness of despair, tears might well up spontaneously, it can have a soothing effect. It changes your physiology from sympathetic nervous system defense and denial patterns into parasympathetic relaxation states. It improves your perspective on the world, especially if this disclosure is shared with another person. When you give into the exhaustion, you might fall into a restful and healing sleep, a sleep that could last a few minutes or hours. You can awaken feeling loving kindness compassion renewed and rested.

Being in contact with your bodily sensations, hidden rage towards a current or past injustice, an unexpressed desire for fulfillment or failure is not about acting on them but simply about feeling them. When you do this, what you have hidden from yourself in darkness can now be revealed in the light of awareness. You can become more completely yourself, more confident and more fully alive.

If then, we would indeed restore mankind by truly botanic, magnetic, or natural means, let us first be as simple and well as Nature ourselves, dispel the clouds which hang over our brows, and take up a little life into our pores. Do not stay to be an overseer of the poor, but endeavor to become of the worthies of the world.” Henry David Thoreau

Sometimes the “life” you need to take in feels like a retreat and a loss. Nature herself waxes and wanes, grows and recedes, lives and dies. In the midst of this shifting and change is one certainty.

The inner eternal light will naturally follow the dark time of the soul; it’s the way of the earth and of all her creatures.

By practicing the relaxation techniques on a daily basis, you learn to let go of the unhealthy emotional states that lead to the physical and emotional tension. Meditation includes a strong element of bodily relaxation.

You can learn how to directly affect your emotional and mental states, promoting calmness and contentment. Learning how your body/ mind interacts will help you to influence your emotional states by regulating your posture and breathing and lifestyle.

Restoring Mind, Body, Spirit Retreat can help you to become more aware of how to make conscious choices that lead to outcomes that are more supportive of your well being and happiness.

Why Stress Is Deadly?

Stress causes deterioration in your Mind and Body, rendering you more susceptible to illnesses ranging from heart disease, posttraumatic stress disorder, depression, chronic stress has been linked to ailments as diverse as intestinal problems, gum disease, erectile dysfunction, growth problems and even cancer.

Stress is a measure of your mental and physical resistance to circumstances beyond your control.

Stressors are threats, demands, or changes to which you attach special, significant importance, you may struggle or feel discomfort or uncertainty in your responses.

Your autonomic nervous system (the part that regulates how your unconscious physiological processes function) is divided into two parts – the sympathetic and the parasympathetic autonomic nervous systems.

The sympathetic nervous system is responsible in part for the “fight or flight” response. It is stimulated when you are under pressure, and results in increased arousal.

The parasympathetic nervous system does the opposite; it returns your system to a balanced, or homeostatic, state.

The hormones your body produces boost heart rate, increase respiration and increase the availability of glucose (cellular fuel) in the blood, thereby enabling the well-known “fight or flight” reaction.

These responses use a lot of energy, stress affects physical processes such as digestion, reproduction, physical growth and some aspects of the immune system; to shut or slow down.

There are different types of stress that can be harmful to your well being.

Cumulative Stress slowly accumulates over time. It’s just one small thing after and another, until you are overwhelmed and can not take it any more.

Chronic Stress does not easily go away. You may wake up every morning with it and can not stop to think about it on the bed every night. Many people complaining of enduring back pain tend to have chronic stress. Many people injured in their 40’s or 50’s suffer from never ending pain that can not be easily be cured by medical procedures. They are in an irritable state and easily get angry when confronted with even a small problem!

Catastrophic Stress can affect people after an intense and unexpected traumatic event, such as an accident, hurricanes, or act of violence, it can be devastating, especially for those who are immediately affected. A trauma is a  life-altering event, a horrific kind of stress. Some people are unable to recover from catastrophic stress. Many people suffering PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) can take many years to recover from catastrophic stress. The death of a loved one is catastrophic. People build strong attachments over time, once broken, it brings a lot of personal pain. Grief is not something that comes or ends swiftly. People can often become overwhelmed by the complexity and dilemmas of their personal and professional lives.

Control Stress People feel more competent, stronger, and safer when they have control, often situations in life do not allow us to have that opportunity. You may end up time poor without enough time to devote to your favourite activities. Once an energetic, positive person, with dynamic personality,  you may find yourself constantly exhausted, thinking things will never change, dreading  going to work, cranky, and suffering from stomach pains and migraine headaches. Your have no mastery over your life life with no ability to make choices based on your awareness.

Taking Responsibility for your Responses 

Taking a step back from life enables you to move forward with greater ease and grace with renewed clarity towards what you wish to create.

Attending a retreat with Living from The Heart provides such an opportunity for growth.

In life what is an unhealthily stressful situation for one person may be a bracing challenge for another.
Stress is your response to external circumstances. You can learn coping behaviors and live in a more balanced way. New behavior patterns have to be learned, not adopted as an act of will.
This involves taking responsibility for your mental, emotional and physical states, training yourself to alter how you respond to experiences, especially difficult ones, to affect outcomes both internally, in terms of mental and emotional states that you experience, and externally, in terms of the situations that you create that can become more conducive to your well being and happiness. When you become deeply aware of the patterns that your mind and emotions give rise to including the patterns of responses that you experience as stress.
You become more aware, for example, of how you might blow things out of proportion, to add to your woes.
You might become aware of how you indulge in anxious thoughts, so that a neutral thought about something you have to do leads to worrying about what will happen if you do not do it, and how this leads in turn to you actively seeking things to worry about.
Once you are aware of these internal activities, you clearly are in a better position to do something about them.
With awareness comes choice. Once you are aware of a pattern of experience, you can choose to act in a different way.

No awareness = No choice

Restoring Mind, Body, Spirit Retreat can help you to become more aware of how to make choices that lead to outcomes that are more supportive of your well being and happiness.

By practicing the relaxation techniques on a daily basis, you learn to let go of the unhealthy emotional states that lead to the physical and emotional tension. Meditation includes a strong element of bodily relaxation.

To begin to understand how this works you can listen to a body awareness and relaxation exercises on the Meditation page.

You can learn how to directly affect your emotional and mental states, promoting calmness and contentment. Learning how your body/ mind interacts will help you to influence your emotional states by regulating your posture and breathing and lifestyle.

A Shift in Consciousness

The shadow & The Political Psyche

‘Remember, we are all affecting the world every moment, whether we mean to or not. Our actions and states of mind matter, because we’re so deeply interconnected with one another. Working on our own consciousness is the most important thing that we are doing at any moment, and being love is the supreme creative act’. Ram Dass

There are currently significant shifts in the world presenting opportunities for you to make huge changes in your life.

Are you going to seize opportunities or get caught up in fear and polarised thinking?
Consciousness is possible by making changes based on considered decision making, and creating a support system that sustains growth and expansion.

How can you make the most out of the energetic shifts that are taking place? On the Healing the Heart Retreat in September and the Shadow workshop in November, I will be helping people to make conscious transitions, to awaken to their intuition, deal with conflict and transform depression, anxiety and fear into Empowerment and Love.

I ask you to consider these four points to bring some awareness to what pushes you into Fear and the Shadow
1. What am I afraid of?
It is important to know what triggers your fear response, what scares you? Is it about the moment? Poor health? financial insecurity? Freedom arises when you know what forces are at work within you and then knowing how you can deal with it.

2. Where do these fears come from?
Did you have parents who were abusive or neglectful? Did you have a parent who could not see who you were? Were situations unfair? Were you bullied? Oppressed? Are these founded in reality or are they projections or unresolved conflict within you? Have you been left or abandoned? Do you fear that you are unlovable?

3. What Triggers my fears?
What influences you? Who or what are you listening to, responding to? Are you suggestible? Are your responses coming from unresolved Trauma? How do you respond to a crisis? After a trauma, people may go though a wide range of responses. Such reactions may be experienced not only by people who experienced the trauma first-hand, but by those who have witnessed or heard about the trauma, or been involved with those immediately affected. Many reactions can be triggered by persons, places, or things associated with the trauma. Some reactions may appear totally unrelated. It takes care and time to unravel and heal trauma.

4. What changes can I make to create more Freedom?

Take action when you are ready and have regained a sense of inner peace and balance do not act from a place of fear. Stop telling yourself negative stories. Turn off the source. Fear is contagious when you keep replaying the same soundtrack over and over and over again– we are doomed – I will never have enough money – No one will Love me – When you keep repeating over and over again, you create a reality based on your shadow and fear. Stay in the present moment, do not worry catastrophize or anticipate the future….focus on the here and now and make better choices about your perception and attitude. Yes – your attitude is everything.

History repeats itself for those who are unwilling to learn

Consciousness is about transforming fear with courage to alleviate suffering.

The Shadow & The Political Psyche

Jung illuminated the root cause of conflict to be found in the unconscious psyche of humanity – A place where fear resides.
This is when people project their shadow, the unconscious, unseen, feared, unresolved and conflicted, the dark side or rejected parts of themselves. This ‘inner’ act results in incredible destruction in the “outer” world.

This is an act of Violence, when you attempt to disassociate from your shadow.
When you project your shadow, you throw your darkness outside of yourself and see it as existing only in others.
Many people react violently when they encounter an embodied reflection of their shadow, they may wish to destroy it, as it reminds them of something dark within themselves that they would rather have nothing to do with. They “demonise” enemies, believing that “they” are inhumane enemies who need to be destroyed.

This is the underlying psychological process which, when collectively mobilised, is the high-octane fuel which feeds  war and conflict.

When a group or a nation co-operatively project the shadow onto an agreed upon enemy, you incarnate the very shadow you are trying to get rid of.
It creates a dangerous situation in that the disturbing effects are now attributed to a wicked will outside yourself which is naturally not to be found anywhere but with your neighbour…. This leads to collective delusions, ‘incidents,’ revolutions, war- in a word, to destructive mass psychosis.”

Jung wrote that “…the normal person…acts out his psychic disturbances socially and politically, in the form of mass psychosis like wars and revolutions.

Projecting the shadow, is a way of avoiding dealing with the ‘evil’ inside of yourself, it is a primal act which generates the very “evil” that you are attempting to avoid in the first place.
Jung said, “Nations have their own particular  psychology, and their own particular kind of psychopathology…. the most striking is suggestibility which affects an entire nation.”

Jung continually warned that the greatest danger that the species faced was the psychic epidemic in which millions of people fall into their unconscious together and because of their “suggestibility,” mutually projecting the shadow onto an agreed upon adversary, thus reinforcing each others’ disassociation, and hence, madness.

When enough people fall into mass projection, they dream up someone to play the role of leader who is an expression of their unconsciousness. The Leader represents all that is unconscious in a nation, the voice of the all that is rejected and unresolved incarnated in the body of politics as a psychic epidemic.

A reciprocal shadow relationship existed between Hitler and the Germans in the 1930s, as is eloquently expressed by Walter Langer, author of The Mind of Adolf Hitler;

“…the madness of the Fuehrer has become the madness of a nation, if not of a large part of the continent…these are not wholly the actions of a single individual but that a reciprocal relationship exists between the Fuehrer and the people and that the madness of the one stimulates and flows into the other and vice versa.
It was not only Hitler, the madman, who created German madness, but German madness that created Hitler. Having created him as its spokesman and leader, it has been carried along by his momentum, perhaps far beyond the point where it was originally prepared to go. Nevertheless, it continues to follow his lead in spite of the fact that it must be obvious to all intelligent people now that his path leads to inevitable destruction.” Walter Langer ‘The Mind of Adolf Hitler.’

Globally we can see this being played out as though on a stage between nations, political parties and governments.

Be the Change – Become a Conscious Activist of Peace.

When you Awaken to consciousness – Violence is No Longer an Option within the entire spectrum of your relationships, intimate, friendships, family, social, economic, political seen and unseen.
Freedom is possible when you relate to yourself and others with openness to discover each individual at a time.
When you become aware of how you affect the world in every moment, intended or not. Your actions and thoughts matter because we are all connected. The path of consciousness is the only way forward.
Illuminating your inner darkness frees you from the unconscious compulsion to project the shadow outside of yourself. By recognising, owning and illuminating your darkness, you can transform the darkness in the world into consciousness. By withdrawing your shadow projections from the outer world, you can become an activist of peace.

You have an Energy field, a Life force, a unique Vibration & Consciousness to discover.

 

Your heart carries a unique vibration it has a unique energy field and consciousness. Connecting with your heart energy is the most powerful tool you have for creating healthy relationships, balance, health, love and peace in your life, your heart has a consciousness. Your heart is a very powerful organ.

Listen not just with your ears, but with your heart, Listen with your essence – with every sense of your being.

When the inner waters of your mind are completely calm, can you be truly  in sync with nature and your authentic  self, a true union with the divine.

 

‘You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend’. Bruce Lee 

“Everything in Life is Vibration”  Albert Einstein

Every vibration produces a corresponding geometric form. Your Thoughts and Emotions create your Vibration and circumstances in your life, including Illness. Words are vibrations, which can Perpetuate or Heal Past Experiences.

Prayer and mantras are vibrations that carry  positive healing energy. 

The sound Om encompasses all words and sounds in human languages. Om is the cosmic sound of creation,  the vibration of the universe, its  energetic frequency connects unites everything.

Cultural, values and beliefs are encoded into the collective unconscious through language, symbols and words.

Beliefs can be held collectively in groups,  families or nations. These messages are carried generationally, when unexamined and  unchallenged they can create suffering for yourself and others. Trauma in the same way can be passed over generations. Trauma can take many shapes and forms. Trauma can be experienced physically, mentally, emotionally and beyond. Trauma can create obstacles to finding  peace within yourself and the world.

Healing Trauma is an important focus of  Living from The Heart which integrates Energy, Mind/ Body, Meditation and Psychotherapy. Unhealed trauma prevents people and groups from  raising their vibration.  Energy healing and Emotional clearing,  helps people who are stuck in repetitive life circumstances and relationships. Emotions are energy, they carry a vibration also. 

Quantum physics and the law of nature states everything has a vibration, thoughts are vibrations of energy,  these vibrations influence your perception. Everything that manifests itself in your life is there because it matches the vibration from your thoughts.

When you become conscious of your thoughts as being vibrations of energy you begin to understand the powerful influence that each thought has and you connect with the power of intention.

John Lennon was encouraging the world to use the power of thought and intention to be conscious of your imagination and its potential,  to create Peace beckoning the listener to imagine a world at peace without the barriers of borders or the divisions,  to imagine humanity unattached to material possessions.The imagination, John Lennon was telling us, is the most powerful tool we have. Use it.

Every individual has potential, and  is capable of influencing others, creating a ripple effect which can change society. If you approach the world as violent, self-gratifying or inconsiderate, what reactions will you generate?  This is a time to be conscious of your actions and attitudes and their consequences.

We can use the power of  collective consciousness through visualisation, prayer, mantra and meditation  to improve the world.

What if everyone focussed their attention on  visualising a peaceful world, characterised by nonviolence and harmonious relationships?

Your thoughts and feelings make ripples. Every action, thought and feeling have vibrations in a sea of energy, affecting everyone forever changing the composition of the whole universe, however small that change is. Change starts with you. Become strong so that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

Healing the Heart Meditation

Join me for a monthly Healing the Heart Meditation virtual event attend from any where in the world. [wysija_form id=”4″]

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Imagine the power of  your thoughts.

“What you may fail to see inside is a result of how you choose to process everything and everyone in your world. You project onto the world what you see inside, and you fail to project into the world what you fail to see inside. If you knew that you were an expression of the universal spirit of intention, that’s what you’d see. You’d raise your energy level beyond any possibility of encumbrances to your connection to the power of intention. It is only discord acting within your own feelings that will ever deprive you of every good thing that life holds for you! If you understand this simple observation, you’ll curb interferences to intention.” Wayne Dyer ‘The Power of Intention

Weaving Happiness into your Vibration

Every being, a cell, plant, animal or human, lives by vibrating; by expanding and contracting taking in the new and letting go of the old. Your mind, too, vibrates, alternating between expanding to receive new ideas and contracting to get rid of the old.

Your Heart beats a rhythm of giving and receiving.

The nerves and arteries in your body contract and expand, to circulating blood, carrying nutrients to supply cells and eliminate toxins in the same way that the air (Chi or Prana) is carried to and from the cells.

Your body is constantly vibrating contracting and expanding, your stomach to digest and your bowels to eliminate.

The vibration in the cells of trees and plants allows the sap to rise, flow and feeds trees and plants.

When parts of your body become stressed or dis-eased, they are no longer  vibrating at their optimal resonant frequency. To recalibrate your frequency, you need to understand how lower and higher vibrations affect your energy and health by taking care of your internal and external environments.

Your thoughts and feelings, and the mental and emotional vibrations that emanate from you, create the atmosphere around you. People can sense this atmosphere and are affected by it. This atmosphere also affects their feelings toward you. Please visit Living from The Heart’s  resources for raising your consciousness.

Be Conscious of what you Create in your Environment.

Become conscious of the foods you eat. Pay attention to how you feel after eating something.

Become conscious of the music you listen to. What messages does it give you?

Become conscious of your home environment. Is it a peaceful oasis?

Become conscious of the vibration levels of your acquaintances, friends, and extended family.

Become conscious of practicing random acts of kindness and in return expect nothing. How does this affect you?

Become conscious of your mind/ body find ways to raise your vibration through meditation, breath work, Chi Kung is a wonderful way to raise your vibration as is a regular Yoga practice.

Become conscious of going to sleep with a grateful, open heart, it is a powerful healing practice.

Awaken and enter a blissful Heart space of potentiality and healing on a Living from The Heart Retreat, Consultation or Workshop 

Love is a natural state of consciousness. Love is at your very core. Love shines a light on your uniqueness. In the spontaneity of love, boundaries disappear. When love appears, separateness disappears.

OM Shanti Shanti Shanti

I would love to hear your thoughts, experiences  and comments!

Conscious relationships

They support aliveness, satisfaction and growth in intimate relationships. Relationships are a scared path. A Conscious relationship is a path of self-realisation. Being conscious is more than being physically awake and more than just being aware. Awareness refers to knowingness at the mental level, while consciousness is a state of knowingness that encompasses all mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of yourself. To be conscious is to be aware of your thoughts, emotions, existence, sensations, and surroundings.

Humanity & Consciousness 

Humanity is on the brink of major transformation. Relationships are the missing link to creating a collective consciousness of humanity, contributing to a healthy, happy, whole, and peaceful planet. You can relate to others and yourself responsibly and compassionately, which can be transformative.

Responsibility is the willingness to take ownership of any “baggage” you bring to your relationships. When you heal your relationships with yourself, your partners, your family, and your communities, you create the possibility of a conscious and peaceful world. It begins with you. If you bring your entire reality into full consciousness and take positive action, you will find yourself in the flow of life. In this state of grace, ease, and lightness, you find yourself no longer dependent or reliant on things that are in a certain way good or bad for your well-being. The consciousness you operate within is equivalent to the lens with which you see reality. Your perceptions, beliefs, mindsets and values now result from the consciousness you are operating in. When you experience a shift in your consciousness due to an Aha moment or inner realisation, you are breaking away from your old consciousness,  old belief systems and attitudes. You begin to see things in a new light.

The Shadow & Consciousness  Many people, at some point, run into all the unconscious stuff they have never looked at. One day, the unconscious material from the past can become re-enacted or recreated in an undesirable form. Everyone carries a shadow and wounds from the past, which are inevitably triggered by close relationships. In other words, you may expect to feel abandoned, not valued or listen to, worthless, trapped, rejected, unlovable. You may look for this unconsciously.

Are you invested in the myth that relationships should only feel good?

When something difficult occurs, uncomfortable feelings emerge, or things do not go according to plan. In these situations, you might fail to see that these difficult feelings stem from your relational patterns – the past affecting you in the ‘here and now’. The other person does not cause these feelings and issues; they have been created from your past wounding, beliefs and relational patterns. Be conscious about your relationships by not attributing blame, hate, anger and guilt. Do not enter into bouts of insanity, despair, depression and self-doubt. You will feel powerless here, constantly looking outside for approval and answers. You can step into conscious relationships with yourself and others and gain peace and clarity.

Becoming conscious requires you to look at your past and current issues in relationships and take responsibility for them; only then can you create something new and dissolve dysfunctional relational patterns. Most of your core wounds, fears and traumas develop as a child within your relationship with your primary caregivers. Often, people who have suffered trauma consciously try to suppress their recollection of the painful events.

‘Over time the forgetting becomes automatic rather than wilful, in the same way that riding a bicycle requires a great deal of conscious mental and physical effort during the learning phase but becomes automatic over time’. David Spiegel

Relationships work when you are aware of looking at yourself truthfully and exploring how your life experiences as a child have shaped how you respond to life now. A conscious relationship requires people who encourage one another’s growth; their relationship strives towards something more significant than gratification. The relationship is a journey of evolution, where people create growth opportunities. You are here to grow. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. When growth stops, you will feel like something has gone wrong. Without growth, you are not fulfilling your path. Learn more about conscious relationships with yourself and others Conscious relationship  weekend  2nd – 3rd June 

The Gift of Vulnerability & Listening  When you connect deeply with another person, your heart naturally opens toward a whole new world of possibilities. This opening of your heart can make you aware of how you are stuck and asleep. Having the courage to be open takes you into the realm of vulnerability. Here, you are seen fully. Love requires you to see and be seen in the fullness of yourself. When you gift vulnerability, you create a space for the other person to share their vulnerability with you. Here, you can love and be loved for who you and they truly are. Gift someone your entire presence, with an open heart, without judgment or trying to find a solution. Your emotional experiences are not problems; they are simply experiences.

‘Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced’. Soren Kierkegaard

Trust & Integrity in Conscious Relationships  Trust is vital in conscious relationships. It begins with you believing in the value of your partners’ words and the integrity of their character. When you mistrust others, it is a mirror of the mistrust you have of yourself.

A conscious relationship requires you to have integrity and keep your word. If you are trustworthy and have integrity, you will have relationships that reflect this. When this is not happening, and you are growing in different directions, you may choose to end a relationship. Be open and present to receive all the lessons and grace a relationship can offer. To reap this bounty, you must fully commit to being in the relationship with your whole being for the time you consciously choose to be in the relationship. Relationships inevitably bring you up against your most painful unresolved emotional conflicts from the past, continually stirring you up against things in yourself that you cannot stand—all your worst fears, neuroses, and fixations. If you focus on only one side of your nature at the expense of the other, you have no path and, therefore, cannot find a way forward. This also limits the possibilities of your relationships as well. Love is a transformative power precisely because it brings the two sides of yourself—the expansive and the contracted, the awake and the asleep—into direct contact. Love challenges you to keep expanding in precisely places you imagine you can not open any further.

‘Intimate relationship is perhaps the ashram of the 21st Century—a place especially ripe with transformational possibility, a combination crucible and sanctuary for the most profound sort of healing and awakening, through which the full integration of our physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and spiritual dimensions is more than possible’Robert Augustus Masters

Learn more about the conscious relationships with Living from The Heart. Transform yourself and your relationships.

Continue to Grow and become conscious!

Healing the Shadow in Relationships

Towards greater Intimacy 

True intimacy attracts fellow travellers along the path, based on honesty and truth. Your ability to look non judgmentally at yourself, at them, at the world will be attractive and deeply  appreciated along with your infectious dexterity in igniting change. People will find respite in your presence. Shared intimacy takes on a boldness and daring that is refreshing, passionate, and nurturing. As the love you feel for yourself deepens, your capacity to enjoy intimate love takes root and rockets.

The shadow represents the negative side of the personality, the sum total of all those unpleasant qualities that you would prefer to hide. Everything that is in your conscious awareness is in the light. Everything of substance which stands in the light  whether it is  a tree or an idea  also casts a shadow. What remains in  darkness is outside of your awareness.

When something is held back or something is left unsaid in, a shadow blocks intimacy and connection weakens.

Too many shadows the intimacy fades or becomes convoluted and confusing. The process of conscious relationship is one of staying fully open. Transparent. Loving. No matter what. Even when the difficult emotions are triggered and one feels dread, fear, abandoned, lost, alone, rejected, anxious, insecure or misunderstood.

These are the moments in a relationship when you shut down and withdraw, hiding yourself away for fear of being seen in your weakness.

These are moments in relationship when you shut the other person out or down. When you do not want them to see you in  a particular way, be that way, feel that way, or act that way because when they are like that, they do not give you what you want or need.

When two people do the work of staying open to difficult emotion it creates an opportunity for  intimacy to surface beyond projections and fantasies.

You are  seen and loved for who you are, not who you need to be to make a person feel a certain way.

Relationships are opportunity to practice intimacy, opening up and revealing all of yourself to another who holds you in unconditional love in that light the shadows are dissolved by love  as you hold each other in the process of waking up and release old trauma.

This is the path of Conscious Relationships.

Where Relationships are mirrors.

‘We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are.’

Unaware of your shadows you may only encounter them through other people, in the form of projections.

You may tend to see in other people the qualities and characteristics that comprise your shadow; that is, everything that you think is “not you.”

Just think for a moment of your like and dislikes. 

Relationships do not mirror your ego back to you; rather, they mirror back your shadow, the other, unacknowledged half of your Inner Self.

Defined by your willingness to stay open and share and hold each other as your shadows arises. Defined by your ability to recognise when you are triggered, and to own your emotional states rather than project them onto others. Defined by your ability to hold each other in love when you are in a difficult emotional state.

• Have you found yourself attracting the wrong people or situations in your life?

A way to change this involves you taking the time to get to know yourself to avoid repeating unwanted patterns in relationships and circumstances.

As a result, synchronicities and miracles start to occur. You begin to live in a flow where the possibilities are endless.

The secret to living in flow is to become conscious of your shadow self – the part you do not know and learn to integrate it to become whole.

• Have you found yourself thinking that you have no idea what is causing you to act in certain ways?

You may think your personality is who you are. 

Blind spots  prevent you from having conscious relationships with yourself and others.

Learning to release them is important to be able to create happy loving relationships with yourself and everyone around you and wake up your inner power and attract the relationships you want.

Common manifestations of the Shadow

The shadow is that part of you that erupts spontaneously and unexpectedly when you behave in a destructive way to yourself or another person. The aftermath may leave you feeling humiliated, ashamed, and guilty. The shadow is that part of you that feels like it cannot be tamed or  controlled.

There are cultural shadows held by groups of people – topics that are not commonly spoken about are held in the collective shadow, as taboo, forbidden topics or areas.

The shadow is anything that is  unacceptable to you, anything that is hidden or denied including what what you want to hide from, what you do not want to know about yourself.

Blame and projection

Are you familiar with blame? The one thing you may never ask for yet give freely. Essentially, blame is projection; it is your personality recognising your shadow.

• Blame is usually accompanied by uncomfortable feelings, as you attempt to distance yourself from the source of your discomfort, which the personality perceives as external to you.
• Blame serves to maintain and reinforce the separation between your personality (ego) and the shadow, maintaining this separation is the egos only real purpose.

The Shadow Side of relationships.

An emotionally mature or genuine love develops with a mutually empathic connection between two people, which nourishes both of your mental, physical and emotional growth and capacity for compassion and self-actualization.

The neurochemistry of love relationships can merge into a dangerous mix of drugs more difficult to part with than alcohol, cocaine or heroine.

When you can’t let go of resentment and keep feeding your anger by continually pointing out everything the other person is doing and has done wrong, blaming him/her for your pain, then this issue is deeper and relates to your childhood wounding which is coming to surface. It relates to your needs not being met or old wounds from past relationships you haven’t fully processed and let go of are being reactivated. The same goes if you keep diminishing yourself with guilt and shame, making yourself feel worthless. It relates to your inner child that is carrying wounds you have not  made conscious yet.

 

Mind/Body

The wiring of your sensory brain and body when not modulated by your consciousness (awareness to influence decision making) can leave you susceptible to falling in love with the state of “falling in love” This can create powerful Sensory cravings that can switch off the frontal cortex (ability to consciously think and make optimal choices). Addictions can be a controlling factor in your life and relationships. Biologically speaking the human body is wired to gravitate toward what produces comfortable, feel-good sensations in you while also avoiding what produces pain and discomfort. The purpose of this design feature is to prompt you to both survive and thrive. Your body reminds you to avoid what is unhealthy, harmful or a threat to your survival, or to move towards fulfilling core drives that matter and create meaningful lives.

The state of falling in love, creates sensory signals consisting of a potent mix of chemicals, which have the power to change the sophisticated communication system between your Mind/ Body tampering with your ability to make healthy choices towards favouring intoxicating demands and quick feel good fixes.

If you experience fear or mistrust, your sensory system takes over.

Feel good hormones have the power to hinder your ability to make good choices, and hold your authentic wise-self (frontal cortex) captive, in a virtual prison of sorts, deceived by limiting unconscious beliefs and illusions of love and power.

Without consciousness your unconscious mind/body can not distinguish between pain or pleasure or that which threatens rather than promotes your growth and wellbeing and aliveness.

Discomfort is an essential part of growth, physical, mental and emotional; unnecessary pain leads to suffering. Pleasure is an emotional and physiological yearning for health and wellness, a sense of feeling good about your self and your capacity to contribute to life, create healthy, vibrant relationships that sustain you. Pleasure at the expense of your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing leads to needless and endless suffering of an addiction.

Learning how to receive and give love to yourself and another person is a great learning curve and challenge – it is not for the faint-hearted.

Addiction & Power.

Addiction can be seen as pleasure-seeking, pain-avoiding, or seeking a quick-fix to have a sense of power or control even though it is temporary creating a false sense of self which ultimately avoids dealing with your shadow self. Working with the shadow can better help you integrate parts that thwart your intentions from forming conscious and healthy relationships. “Falling in love” can be seen as a beginning stage of a relationship which if nurtured can create genuine love with another person.

When you work on your  shadow and uncover the character that is hiding within you. Uncovering its needs, what it is communicating to you, how you feel when it arises you, how you relate to it. It begins to lose its compulsive  quality and does not drive you as  much. When it releases its grip you are able to hear your authentic self – your internal intuitive and wise voice wisdom, the part of you that knows what is the right action. Jung suggested that that  if we can shed a little light on our own darkness, it will remove some of the larger darkness from the world.

 

Timing

The right people will arrive at precisely the right time.  Let your words be bricks in the foundations of the bridges others are striving to build. Let the wisdom gained through your committed intimacy be fruitful. Let love be your guide. And let your love speak profoundly

The true power and creativity unleashed from the shadow is your ability to see clearly and master the art of conscious relationships.

Learn more about discovering and integrating your shadow, bring your true self out of shadow and into the light.

On the workshop you will learn ways to transforming parts of your character with compassion and understanding, to find balance within all your relationships.

Begin the process of positive change on this interactive learning and growth experience. 

 

Join me for the next workshop it is suitable for all

Transforming The Deepest Shadow & Healing Collective Trauma

 

Image by Scott Wilton