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  • Sex is your Life Force. You are born out of it. It is your creative energy. It can bring enlightenment. Self esteem is not static. It fluctuates. When you think of your inner lover or Divine Love, what images come to mind perhaps the image of the Goddesses of Love? Aphrodite is an enchanting embodiment of sexual fantasy. Her allure is universal. She is the stereotype found in the Hollywood sex goddess who stimulates desires and romance in the imaginations of millions. Perhaps the ecstatic devotional poems of Rumi, Kabir, Mirabai conjure images of blissful and divine Love?When you make a journey to find Divine Love you enter the realm of coming to grips with reality beyond the emotions of love or fear.

    Experience and personal growth helps you move from fantasy to reality to be able to manifest Divine and Sacred Love. The journey to find the Lover within you and connect with a Conscious or Divine Love will take you to unexpected places, some difficult to visit.

    Your memories, beliefs, and values will place obstacles in the way; you may have opposition, feelings of bitterness and old wounds that impede your progress. You may even feel the need to defend yourself against perceived attacks in order to not be wounded again. Reality on this journey is found between becoming conscious of your idealised images and expectations you place on yourself and relationships. These ideal images are virtually non-existent, when they are not met feelings of disappointment and loss have mastery over you hounding you to degrade yourself and current relationships. Prompting you to behave in unauthentic ways to gain a false sense of being loved and desired.

    Reflect. Look at the walls you have put up around you. Which part of your self needs protecting? How old are they? When you meet a Love, which part of you greets it? The adult, child or teenager? When you think of Love what images arise? What is your desire?

    Your Inner Lover is both the feminine and masculine whom is excited by feelings of longing, awe, fear of the unknown, and incomprehensibility. When you Love deeply, you open yourself up to the possibility of betrayal and the pain of separation. You open yourself to wounding, and this very woundedness is your openness. Love is a universal quality, intrinsic to consciousness, no journey is more rewarding. It’s worth the time, effort, and dedication to discover your inner Lover. Celebrate what makes you and your desires unique. Your life is beautiful. Your inner Lover is a healthy embodiment of life force, an experience of sensuous pleasure. Your sensitivity allows you to extend compassion and empathy to all you encounter. Sexual energy can have many expressions: at its lowest vibration, it is biological; at the highest, it is spiritual. Along with this sensitivity to your internal and external experiences comes passion. The Inner Lover is connected through feeling.

    Your inner Lover wants to touch and be touched. You want to touch everything physically and emotionally and you wish to be touched by everything. Here you recognise no boundaries. Revel in your experiences of the exotic, of desire through the language of love, music art, and the senses. You desire connection with yourself allowing powerful feelings and experiences and in your relationships with other people. Your desire is to experience the sensual world in its totality. Give yourself permission to feel this fully.

    The inner Lover makes a journey through your mind, body and spirit moving upwards towards silent spaces, passing through your heart to your mind and the seventh centre at the highest point in your body. Here you will feel grateful towards the energy. Be open to receiving the gifts of loving relationships which have the power to melt defences, leaving you and your loved ones disarmed and open – allowing the magic of divine love to flow.

    Practice makes perfect Love Is a Practice. It is a skill that improves with practice. When you consciously identify and communicate your expectations, you are more likely to create and attract healthy loving relationships. When you listen to the wisdom of your heart you can allow it to guide you towards higher expressions of love. You are invited to join me to learn more… www.livingfromtheheart.co.uk

    Love, Sex & Intimacy Workshop on the weekend of 7th – 8th March 2015 10 – 4pm both days in North London

    BOOK A PLACE

    On Love, Sex & Intimacy weekend I will introduce ways to help you to develop a healthy sense of sexuality and desire. Learn to identify your emotions and get your needs met in a healthy manner. It will explore the possibilities for experiencing greater depth and nourishment in your relationships. Explore feelings that arise when you meet challenges including shame that may prevent you from having an enjoyable sexual relationship. Find ways of overcoming barriers to better relationships. The workshop is open to all regardless of sexual orientation or if you are in a committed relationship or single.

  • Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it necessary? Is it true? Does it improve on the silence?

    Many of our experiences of Love, Sex and Intimacy are linked unconsciously to feelings of shame; guilt or fear. We do not always recognise that our thoughts about these can  prevent us from fully expressing and receiving Love. Many people have not been taught how to talk about sex and sexuality in a healthy and empowering way. This causes a lot of suffering because of our lack of skill, it can create Sexual and Intimacy based difficulties in relationships. Many people were not taught how to love and express their needs in a healthy ways. We learn through observing and experiencing the relationship between and with parents, siblings, caregivers and significant individuals, whom may not have been competent at managing and expressing themselves. Many individuals and couples lack the mature emotional skills set because of their experiences. Concerns about sex and intimacy are common. The weekend workshop explores your unconscious emotional responses and repetitive relational dynamics including the messages you learnt about Love, Sex and Intimacy which possibly has been passed down generation after generation in your family, society, culture. The past only remains so when it no longer affects us in negative ways in the ‘here and now’. You can usually trace your emotional inheritance back to the original dysfunctions within your family. People tend to model themselves on their parents as they are very important role models in your life. Did you see your parents holding hands and expressing tenderness with each other? Did you observe them expressing anger and  resolving  conflict in a healthy way? Perhaps they were emotionally immature like so many people. They were only doing what they have been taught and it was their best at the time. You may have experienced similar difficulties and  challenges in meeting your needs in relationships as an adult. During Living from The Heart Workshops you will move towards becoming more conscious of the underlying dynamics that drive your emotional responses. You will learn to recognise and express your feelings in healthier ways, expanding your sense of self and your repertoire of responses in your relationship. Consequently you and your relationship become more nourishing and nourished.

    Living from The Heart teaches you the Language of Emotions.
    Emotions are physical sensations associated with thoughts in your mind. Essentially they are your mind/body experience. Emotions relate to your self-image. How you identify yourself, relates to your thoughts and what you prioritise and choices you make. Your choices reinforce your view of yourself and others. Your emotions provide a signal alerting you when your sense of self is being challenged or reinforced. Self-image for some people is closely related to their physical body. Their choices and priorities may be motivated with maintaining an appearance, they will prioritise working out at the gym, concerning themselves with their appearance what they wear, they follow what they believe is the best diet. Any perceived threat to their sense of physical identity for example if someone criticises the way they look, generates discomfort. Other people may get their self-image and esteem from their job or career. These people are goal orientated. If they perceive a threat to their role, such as the potential job loss or forced career change, their mind/body system produces feelings of distress. For others their identity is based predominantly on their set of beliefs. They experience distress when their core beliefs or spiritual practices are challenged or dismissed, for example if someone undermines their religious or political views Your sense of identity throughout your life changes, thankfully as we develop and mature. Your sense of self elicits various emotional and physical responses Especially when you perceive a threat and need to protect your sense of self. Whatever you decide is your diet, sexuality, beliefs, choice of lifestyle, your position, or your views will determine what you ‘feel’ you need to defend. Threats that challenge your sense of self and identity generate sensations. You may feel fear or insecurity, helplessness or anger. You may experience feelings or not being good enough or being unlovable. You may get angry. These sensations are our emotions or feelings.
     
    Two basic emotions Love and Fear

    We have the capacity for two basic feelings—those of love or fear. Emotions are messages your body sends to your mind emanating from your sense of self. Why you feel the way you do?

    Everyone at sometime is driven by either Fear or Love. Your sense of self is the source that generates ease or dis – ease and is unique to each individual. Awareness, Self Love and Good Self Esteem is the master-key.

    Ask yourself:

    What determines my experiences and relationships as safe or unsafe?

    This is a way to begin to bring your unconscious responses into your conscious awareness.

    Your needs determine your emotional responses. When you begin to recognise and communicate your needs more consciously you begin to experience greater emotional aliveness that flows from mastering the ability to clearly communicate what you want in life. Remember that these are  learnt responses. If you are not currently skilled in this area, the likely hood is that you were taught by people who did not have the skills. YOU CAN LEARN NEW ONES!

    The better you become at communicating your needs, the more likely you are to get them met. Consequently your emotional wellness improves greatly.

    Distress is usually experienced when certain outcomes are not aligned with your intentions.In other words when your experiences fall short or do not fulfil your expectations. (See live-your-life-with-intention)

    This emotional upset is caused by an unmet need or to when someone challenges our sense of self.

    Practice makes perfect Love Is a Practice. It is a skill that improves with practice. When you consciously identify and communicate your expectations, you are more likely to create and attract healthy loving relationships. When you listen to the wisdom of your heart you can allow it to guide you towards higher expressions of love. You are invited to join me to learn more… The Heart of Relationships  weekend I will introduce ways to help you to develop a healthy sense of sexuality and desire. Learn to identify your emotions and get your needs met in a healthy manner. It will explore the possibilities for experiencing greater depth and nourishment in your relationships. Explore feelings that arise when you meet challenges including shame that may prevent you from having an enjoyable sexual relationships. Find ways of overcoming barriers to better relationships. The workshop is open to all regardless of sexual orientation or if you are in a committed relationship or single.

  • ‘When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.’ Lao Tzu

    Today spend time throughout the day giving thanks for all that is going right in your life. Too often we dwell on what is going wrong.
    When we complain we weaken our resolve and ability to find solutions. Dwell on what works in your life today. Make a list of everything you are grateful for.
    Begin with I am grateful for… This practice gains momentum when practiced with patience over time. Notice your distractions.  Evoke feelings of gratitude as you write – do not worry if it does not come easily. Enjoy the feelings when they arrive, feel them deeply in each cell of your body.

  • ‘You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.’

    In order to welcome love into your lives become aware and let go of some of your beliefs about Love, what you learnt from a young age whilst growing up, from your Mother, Father, siblings and significant people in your lives.

    Listen to the deep internalised messages; feel them in your body and how they may have influenced some of your decisions now as an adult.

    What messages did you receive? Are they true, are you shaping your life to the same soundtrack? What negative messages are you holding onto?

    Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the centre so you have two columns record the negative messages and next to each one write down  what  replace the old messages with a new one

    I.e.: ‘No one loves me’ on the right hand side you would counter this with ‘I love and approve of myself’

    Take some time to write down what you learnt about Love. Today write down and acknowledge what needs to be altered. Each day take a moment to work on each of these messages. Get support if you need to.

    Once you stop telling yourself the story about your life and how you are loved and love – they will have less power over you – you are free to shape your own destiny.

    By loving yourself you allow others to love you back.

  • ‘There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophy.’

    Awareness of your physical body can help you tap into your emotional self, shifting your focus from outside to inside.

    Your mind / body is a direct reflection of your emotional body. Listen to your body and respond accordingly – if you feel tired take time out to relax. If you have an abundance of energy use your body, if you feel a creative pull go and create something paint, write, draw, and move.

    Feelings are experienced in your body; an awareness of your bodily state can enhance your ability to identify your feelings.

    Practice: Make a scan of your body, Sitting or lying down in a comfortable position (savasana is corpse pose lying flat on the ground arms by your side legs about hip width apart.), take a moment to consciously take in several deep breathes and relax. Close your eyes and bring your focus to this present moment and your physical self. There is no need to try to do anything – just be present and passive. If you need to move to get more comfortable do so if you feel the need to tense a certain body part in order to let go of tension then do whatever brings greater comfort and ease.  Begin scanning your body by drawing your attention to any part of your body that asks for attention.  Beginning perhaps with your head, face, jaw, eyes, ears, and skull. Tune in to what is happening here. What do you notice? Do your best to remain as passive and non-judgmental as possible. You are encouraged to become an objective observer of your experience. At the same time, carefully observe your head, both deep inside and on a surface level. If you notice tension, tightness or contracted muscles, consciously release and relax those areas.

    As you feel ready, progress down to your neck, shoulders upper and lower arms and torso. Again, notice what is happening in your heart.  Carefully observe your back, spine and chest area, both deep inside them and on the surface. Again, if you notice tension, tightness or contracted muscles, consciously release and relax those areas. Progress now to your abdomen and notice what is occurring here. From there, move on to your lower abdomen, hips, pelvis, buttocks and thighs. Next, focus on your legs and feet. Once you have finished focus on your hands and fingers. Finish this exercise by taking a few more deep breaths and turning your awareness back to your entire physical self, which includes all of the parts on which you have been focusing.

  • ‘Our minds can shape the way a thing will be because we act according to our expectations’

    Many people have not been taught how to receive, it is an innate skill. It’s never too late to unlearn the conditioning that veils your ability to open up and experience love, joy and aliveness.

    Your task today is to become aware of how you create blocks to receiving today.

     

    Ask yourself what do you deserve? You may find some beliefs about yourself and others that prevent you from aligning yourself to allow more love into your life. Be aware of how you respond to others when they show love and affection. Do you get uncomfortable when someone shows you kindness or gives you a compliment?

    How you respond is exactly how you treat the people that love you.

     

    Notice what happens when you think of making positive shifts in your life? Whether it is in your career, financial, love or relationship situation, does fear arise? If so you are holding onto a belief that will limit your ability to receive.

    Consciously invite the fear to surface and spend some time listening to it. Experience it in your body do not judge it, allow it to be in the room with you,  pour love, compassion and understanding onto this part as you would with a young child to help them heal and grow.

     

    Your daily experience of Love begins with being open to receive as much as you are able to give Love.

  • ‘Each Day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons.’

    Give yourself plenty of space today to grow and be yourself and shine in your uniqueness. Give yourself space to give and receive abundantly. Be open to beautiful things such as ideas, openness, truth, joy, healing, and include others.

    Daily Practice: Take a deep grounding, calming and detoxifying breath. Breath in and fully inhabit your body reminding yourself that you are here and alive. Affirm that ‘I am enough’.

    The act of giving and receiving Love does not change this. ‘I am enough’.

    Today you have freedom to choose what to think, where to go and who you surround yourself with, appreciate what and who is in front of you today. Use your freedom in a loving way. Choose Love.

    Be open to invitations and make connections by making invitations to others.

    Become more discerning with what you give. Give truly from your heart without expectation.

    Stay conscious of how receieving empowers those who give to you your attention by listening. You can give your appreciation through your thoughtful observation of others. By really seeing you offer your quiet observation and presence. Accept others and yourself.

  • ‘Keep Love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.’

    There are many different ways of loving. Do not reject Love simply because you cannot Love in the way others do, do not reject Love because a person does not love in the way you expect and understand love to be shown. Discover your core of love and learn to bring that into your everyday life.

    ‘There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done.
    Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung.
    Nothing you can say, but you can learn
    How to play the game
    It’s easy.
    Nothing you can make that can’t be made.
    No one you can save that can’t be saved.
    Nothing you can do, but you can learn
    How to be you in time
    It’s easy’.

     

    Daily Practice, Meditation: Get comfortable and quiet and focus on travelling into the core of love. Be there right now. Be ok with whatever you experience if nothing happens be ok with this and imagine what it would be like with all your senses visualize what it would be like to be there right now. Use language to describe images to yourself;’ it’s like the folds of petals’, or a ‘running waterfall’. ‘It feels like basking in the sun warming each cell of my body.’ Take some time to get to know your core. Take time to journey to the centre of love.

    This is a very simple exercise, please use it often it will become easier with practice. You can recall what it feels like when you last experienced your core of love, it will become easier and easier to experience. Your experience may change also be open.

    If you were not given enough love as a child, how does this affect your capacity to love? How is this resolved? You may experience difficulty connecting with your core of love, as you do not know what love feels like. Allow the lack of love to motivate your desire to become ennobled rather than hardened. You may experience a reconnection with something that is your birthright. You may realize that your core is something that cannot be taken from you. Your connection with your core of Love does not prevent you from being wounded, nor does it heal previous wounds.

    Taking reasonability to heal your wounds consciously strengthens your connection to your core which gives you strength because love heals. When you reach a state of total love, you are impervious to wounds.

    Please share your encounters with your core of Love here in the comments.

  • ‘Do not seek perfection in a changing word. Instead, perfect your love.’

    Today do not take any relationship or encounter for granted, be open to loving.

    Even when you find yourself in trying circumstances see if you can allow and observe your emotional reactions, then melt back into the core of love, your heart.

    According to Mohondas K. Gandhi, “if your wishes are pure, then they become true”.
    Your thoughts can become negative with dysfunctional thoughts, feelings, or beliefs.

    As you transform your thoughts, you can transform your feelings and transform your life.

    The truth is that every single one of us has greatness and immortal genius inside.
    It is important to follow your vision, intuition, and inspiration so you can achieve what you are here to accomplish in life.
    Everyone wants to love and be loved, to appreciate and be appreciated, and everyone wants to live his or her dreams.
    So begin today by allowing Love to inhabit all that you do.

  • ‘Your heart has not to open to others. Your heart has to open to yourself.’

    The Anahata Chakra is the seat of the Divine Self (Atma). Anahata means “unstruck” which relates to the constant rhythmic beat or vibration of the heart. There is a sound that is non-physical and this transcendental sound vibrates endlessly as the heart.

    Located near the centre of the breastbone or sternum, this chakra represents higher consciousness and love. The Heart chakra is associated with the heart, lungs, thymus gland, arms, hands, lower lung and circulatory system. If we live from the Heart, we treat everyone with kindness and offer forgiveness freely. In this heart space, we find balance between our earthly desires and spiritual pursuits. The heart chakra acts as the balance point for all the chakras. It governs your relationships and how you interact with others. A balanced heart chakra is expressed in acceptance of self and others, personal values and ethics, following one’s unique direction in life.

    Many of us have felt the pain of heart break and the deep ache of loss, the heaviness of sorrow of grief, hatred, anger and of jealousy. The fear of betrayal and loneliness.

     

    Some signs that the Heart Chakra is out of balance are:

    Lack of self discipline
    Being cruel and critical of others and self and Passive aggressive
    Questioning the existence of love
    Difficulty in relationships
    Living vicariously through others
    Dependence on others for your happiness
    When your heart chakra is closed it is very hard to love. Some people repeat painful experiences by going from one tumultuous relationship to another. Some people sabotage relationships, by being unfaithful or creating arguments. Some people close themselves off to relationships, afraid of intimacy or emotional pain.

     

    Daily Practice: Get comfortable and close your eyes and focusing on your heart. Observe your heart centre, notice its colour, a healthy heart chakra emits a clear, stunning, emerald green light. If that light is clouded, dimmed, an odd colour, or the vortex seems shut up tight, it needs to be cleansed and opened. Visualize a beautiful emerald green light that nurtures and bathes your heart in unconditional love. Take a deep breath, and on the exhalation, say “yaammmmm” aloud in one long syllable.

    Feel the sound vibration in your body and notice where it vibrates, feel the energy moving from the base of your spine to your heart chakra. Continue breathing deeply and repeat the sound yam on each exhalation until you feel infused with a feeling of peace and serenity.

     

    Contemplation:

    What emotional wounds do I need to heal?
    Are there relationships current or past require healing?
    Are my wounds causing me to try and control people or situations around me?
    Am I allowing the wounds of others to control me? How do I let that happen?
    Do I need to forgive myself? Who needs forgiveness?

Aisha Ali is a much sought after relationship psychotherapist in the UK and world-wide. She is known for her intuitive insight and skilled at getting to the core of issues. Helping people to transform unwanted patterns. Clients experience support, clarity, a sense of peace, balance and accomplishment. Aisha brings a warmth of heart and depth of sincerity to her practice that’s quite unique.

30 Days To Consciously Bring Love Into Your Life

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