Does my relationship or marriage have to be in trouble before I can benefit from Living from The Heart?

    No.  Communication skills can help strengthen the feeling of love and connection in any relationship.  Through the process couples appreciate their partners more by gaining insight into why they fell in love in the first place. The dialogue process also enables couples develop a deeper level of empathy for one another, creating an environment of trust and emotional safety.

    Get the most out of therapy?

    The best therapy happens when a client and therapist get into a flow together, and the therapy feels almost as though it’s a continuous session. The biggest contribution a client can make to this process is commitment by investing their time, energy and effort during the session and outside of sessions through continuous reflection and application beyond the session.

    Regular sessions enable this to occur.

    Consider the conversations you have in therapy. Be honest and communicate your emotional reactions to sessions both negative and positive responses are an important part of your process and may offer important material for understanding your material in a deeper way to enable you to make a transition.

    Experiment in your life by making minor changes consistent with the work you are doing in therapy, share with your therapist the process and the outcome your triumphs and your challenges. Take appropriate risks inside and outside the session.

    Be engaged and willing to do the work. Do not anticipate a magical cure as change involves work on your self and a move towards taking 100% responsibility yourself and making lasting changes in your life.

    Sometimes part of the panacea is pain, or discomfort, or the memory of pain. This occurs only with healing in mind.

    Therapy is an experience that you play a major part in terms of shaping its direction.It is something you experience and are actively involved with, not something you attend and watch unfold from a distance. It is not a play or musical production you sit and observe, but instead a concert in which you are one of the musicians on stage yourself.

    How can Living from The Heart help me?

    Living from the Heart’s goal is to encourage your growth, help you to let go of what holds you back and achieve optimal health of Mind and Body. Aisha works in a highly supportive way, respecting and responding to your needs. Guiding you in the process of honest exploration of the issues that you face, and providing interventions and tools to dissolve difficulty and transform your relationship with yourself and others.

    How do I determine if the therapy is working?

    You should feel that the therapist has a good understanding of your struggle, offers you direction and suggestions that make sense to you and that she is offering you viewpoints that challenge you to grow and consider different viewpoints. You should also notice improvements in your outlook and a diminishment of the symptoms that brought you to therapy.

    How do I know if the workshops are for me?

    The workshops are open to all individuals and couples who want to improve their relationship with themselves and others. This includes people of every gender identification and sexual orientation who are over the age of 18. Many participants are in their 30s, 40s, and 50s. During the workshops we explore themes around personal growth, intimacy, love and sexuality.    All workshops are complete units taken individually or can be followed as part an on-going program which, provide lasting results that expand and unfold over time. All workshops and retreats are suitable for individuals and couples who want to improve all aspects of their relationships.

    How does the process work?

    The process enables you to understand your personal history and how negative patterns lead to emotional distress, this allows you to discover and connect with your real self. Encouraging you to move from concern with problems and symptoms towards exploring how you might lead a more fulfilling and authentic life. It helps you to accept and make necessary changes to live in a more constructive and fulfilling way. An ancient proverb says that a wise person seeks advice. Many people find it helpful to talk to a professionally-trained person, outside of their family or circle of friends. A psychotherapist has no particular personal involvement or investment in your life and also has experience in dealing with complex relational, psychosexual, psychological and emotional issues.

    How long are the sessions?

    Each session will run for 50 minutes at an agreed regular time on a weekly or twice weekly basis or as arranged. In the case of Intensives this is arranged prior to the session commencing usually in the range of 2 – 4 hours.

    How long before I can expect to see a change in my relationship?

    Generally after 6- 8 weeks of regular sessions you can expect to see profound changes in your own feelings and behaviour and begin to see that your relationships are transforming for the better.

    How long can I expect to be in therapy?

    That depends on several variables, including the:

    • Level of wounding you experienced during childhood as well as your partner if seeking couples work.
    • Amount of damage/hurt already experienced in your current relationship
    • Depth of your commitment and
    • Ability to apply what you learn between sessions when you are at home

    Aisha tends to move people fairly quickly into being able to manage the challenges and crisis that bring individuals and couples to therapy. By providing communication tools that resolve conflict, contain anger and create safety.  Some couples achieve the results they want in 10-12 sessions.  Other couples prefer a longer, psycho-educational approach.

    The length of therapy is determined by the issues you are working with or how hard you or you and your partner are motivated to work in therapy. Some clients will seek therapy for short-term change or relief, others will commit to longer term change. Some clients who have been in Therapy previously benefit from assistance built around occasional sessions designed to redirect their on-going process of change. In cases of infidelity, regular therapeutic work is required usually in the region 9 – 12 months.

    Important information about Appointments

    I make a commitment to regular weekly appointments with clients, because of the importance of regularity and continuity of sessions. Missed appointments or cancelled sessions are chargeable in full, apart from in exceptional circumstances by arrangement. This enables me to reserve your usual weekly appointment time.

    My partner doesn’t want to come to Therapy. Can I come on my own?

    You can arrange to come on your own. However, as the work and focus are all about relationships, whenever possible, it’s best for both partners to attend the sessions. You may also find that your partner changes his or her mind once you decide to commit to regular sessions.

    What are the ingredients for getting the most out of couples therapy?
    1. Motivated couples can start to understand and explore their problems from a different perspective.
    2. You can learn to recognise and manage the triggers of bad behaviour and learn resolve conflicts.
    3. Together you can improve communication that may have eroded the quality of your connection and interactions. Many couples unfortunately reach an impasse where they lose the ability to be vulnerable and trust.
    4. Therapy can provide a space to help you work through difficult issues and put aside the past that prevents you both from moving on.
    5. You can decide to rebuild your relationship or marriage and make a renewed commitment, or clarify the reasons why you need to separate or end the marriage.
    6. For relationship therapy or marriage counselling to be effective, both of you need to be willing to take responsibility for your part in the problems you have experienced, to take responsibility and accept each other’s short comings. Both of you need to be willing and motivated to repair the relationship.
    7. It is important for you both to have realistic expectations because it takes more than a couples of sessions to uncover the dynamics that have created the difficulty and establish new one to begin the process of transformation.
    What happens in a first session?

    People have all kinds of feelings before meeting someone new, especially a therapist. Meeting a therapist for the first time can feel scary, exciting, anxiety provoking, a relief or all of these.
    When you arrive it can help to remember that you are getting to know a person just as much as they are getting to know you and that the therapist is a human being just like you.

    At Living from The Heart in North London Highgate, the therapy studio is a peaceful haven.
    This first meeting is a chance to get clear on your goals and get a chance to know me, you will get a sense of my skill and personality, and a little about my thoughts on what is troubling you.

    What if I want to end my relationship?

    Living from The Heart can provide clarity about next steps and skills you need to reach your goals. Many couples find hope and optimism as a result of what attending the therapeutic process.  Some couples discover that the energy and love has left their relationship and they decide to separate.  Even if that’s your decision you make together, Living from the heart provides a framework in which you can respectfully and gracefully say good-bye.  This is especially important if you have children.  Regardless of children – it is important to understand how you co-created your current relationship because you bring your unresolved baggage and relational patterns to each intimate love relationship. If you do not make that unconscious information conscious, you will likely experience a re-enactment of your previous relationships in the future.

    The majority of couples leave therapy with renewed energy, tools and skills to navigate future difficulties.

    What Techniques are used?

    Living from the Heart is a psychotherapeutic program of therapy, workshops and retreats  led by Aisha Ali; who draws from a broad range of tools from Eastern and Western approaches to healing Mind, Spirit and Body, combining Integrative Psychotherapy, Dramatherapy, Breath work, Chi Kung, Yoga, Kundalini, Meditation and Pranic healing.