Heart Centred Practices to Transform your Life & Relationships
Shepherds Close London N6 5AG 07855 781 210
Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it necessary? Is it true? Does it improve on the silence?
Many of our experiences of Love, Sex and Intimacy are linked unconsciously to feelings of shame; guilt or fear. We do not always recognise that our thoughts about these can prevent us from fully expressing and receiving Love. Many people have not been taught how to talk about sex and sexuality in a healthy and empowering way. This causes a lot of suffering because of our lack of skill, it can create Sexual and Intimacy based difficulties in relationships. Many people were not taught how to love and express their needs in a healthy ways. We learn through observing and experiencing the relationship between and with parents, siblings, caregivers and significant individuals, whom may not have been competent at managing and expressing themselves. Many individuals and couples lack the mature emotional skills set because of their experiences. Concerns about sex and intimacy are common. The weekend workshop explores your unconscious emotional responses and repetitive relational dynamics including the messages you learnt about Love, Sex and Intimacy which possibly has been passed down generation after generation in your family, society, culture. The past only remains so when it no longer affects us in negative ways in the ‘here and now’. You can usually trace your emotional inheritance back to the original dysfunctions within your family. People tend to model themselves on their parents as they are very important role models in your life. Did you see your parents holding hands and expressing tenderness with each other? Did you observe them expressing anger and resolving conflict in a healthy way? Perhaps they were emotionally immature like so many people. They were only doing what they have been taught and it was their best at the time. You may have experienced similar difficulties and challenges in meeting your needs in relationships as an adult. During Living from The Heart Workshops you will move towards becoming more conscious of the underlying dynamics that drive your emotional responses. You will learn to recognise and express your feelings in healthier ways, expanding your sense of self and your repertoire of responses in your relationship. Consequently you and your relationship become more nourishing and nourished.
We have the capacity for two basic feelings—those of love or fear. Emotions are messages your body sends to your mind emanating from your sense of self. Why you feel the way you do?
Everyone at sometime is driven by either Fear or Love. Your sense of self is the source that generates ease or dis – ease and is unique to each individual. Awareness, Self Love and Good Self Esteem is the master-key.
Ask yourself:
What determines my experiences and relationships as safe or unsafe?
This is a way to begin to bring your unconscious responses into your conscious awareness.
Your needs determine your emotional responses. When you begin to recognise and communicate your needs more consciously you begin to experience greater emotional aliveness that flows from mastering the ability to clearly communicate what you want in life. Remember that these are learnt responses. If you are not currently skilled in this area, the likely hood is that you were taught by people who did not have the skills. YOU CAN LEARN NEW ONES!
The better you become at communicating your needs, the more likely you are to get them met. Consequently your emotional wellness improves greatly.
Distress is usually experienced when certain outcomes are not aligned with your intentions.In other words when your experiences fall short or do not fulfil your expectations. (See live-your-life-with-intention)
This emotional upset is caused by an unmet need or to when someone challenges our sense of self.
‘You are what your deepest desire is. As your desire is, so is your intention. As your intention is, so is your will. As your will is, so is your deed. As your deed is, so is your destiny.’
Intention is an important element in any journey. Intention begins with a recognition, of what feels good and joyful. It does not matter how faint, momentary or fleeting. It is unmistakeable and unforgettable because it feels good. Remember for that moment you felt good about yourself. When you form an intention for yourself, you are setting an intention to feel that experience again, to feel it on a more consistent level.
Intention begins with the realisation that you can choose how to be.
When you clarify your intention, a space of consciousness opens up within you. There is a realisation that you can become someone who feels goodness more of the time. Your internal dialogue shifts to an acceptance of the radiance that is innately part of who you already are. You recognise your innate goodness. You have begun a journey to become more of who you already are, deep inside yourself. This journey involves purging layers of conditioned behaviours and responses that have prevented you from recognising your true self, from feeling a deep and loving connection with your inner being and others.
Be Authentic. What do you want most from your life? Do you want to learn how to open your heart? Do you want to be of service? Would you like to learn about compassion and kindness, about self-love, do you wish to learn to love others? What is your heart’s desire? What areas of your life need attention? What has been neglected?
Ask your heart what it needs. Write it down. Share your intention with a trusted person who can support you in your efforts.
Make a commitment.
Explore what each of these commitments look like. Set yourself daily, weekly and monthly reminders of your goals. Put into practice a routine that supports these changes you wish to make in the present, always return to this moment.
Before you get out of bed affirm I am having a fun or productive day.
Before you leave the house, affirm that I have quality time with my beloved and loved ones.
Before you start your car, affirm that I have a safe journey.
Before you go to work, affirm that I learn something and can be of service to others.
Commit for the long term
Any lasting change requires a long term commitment. If you want to be healthier, you might have to alter your lifestyle i.e. Change your eating habits for good. Challenges befall all of us in many forms it is the cycle of life, beginnings and endings. It is not what happens to you but how you cope with these obstacles that are important.
Listen to your heart
Answering life affirming questions demands you to look deep within and reflect upon your life.
Think about your life for a few moments. Get a pen and paper. Take a deep breathe in and out just focus on your breaths. Relax your body, take slow deep breaths inhaling and exhaling. Place your hand over your heart. Notice what is in your heart today even if there is sadness and suffering. Pay attention to where you are right now. Pay attention to what you are doing. If you are sitting what are you sitting on? Where are you? Are you indoors are outdoors what your surroundings are? Who or what is close by in your environment? Become aware of the sounds around you. Close your eyes and tune into the sound of your heart beating.
Only you know the answers to your hearts deepest longings. Take a few breaths relax and ask your heart the following;
Where am I
Why am I here?
What am I longing to do with my life?
Where do I want to be?
Have Hope
After you have set your intention make a commitment and listen to your heart. Then surrender. You cannot control the outcome. You can take conscious and positive action in the direction of that which calls to your heart, you must trust that the process will unfold in a way that is best for you not necessarily what you want. Your life may head in a direction you never dreamt of.
Intentions are much more powerful when they come from a place of contentment than from a place of lack or need. Be grateful for all that you already have.
‘If you just feel happy for what you have, have an attitude of gratitude, and be grateful, then it will come true, you will be great and you will be full.’
Today spend time throughout the day giving thanks for all that is going right in your life. Too often we dwell on what is going wrong.
When we complain we weaken our resolve and ability to find solutions. Dwell on what works in your life today. Make a list of everything you are grateful for.
Begin with I am grateful for… This practice gains momentum when practiced with patience over time. Notice your distractions. Evoke feelings of gratitude as you write – do not worry if it does not come easily. Enjoy the feelings when they arrive, feel them deeply in each cell of your body.
Living from the Heart:
T 07855 781 210
S aishaali
E admin@livingfromtheheart.co.uk
Aisha Ali is a much sought after relationship specialist. She is known for her intuitive insight, she is very skilled at getting to the core of issues and helping individuals and couples transform unwanted repeated patterns. Her clients experience support clarity, awareness and a sense of peace, balance and accomplishment.