Heart Centred Practices to Transform your Life & Relationships
Category : Relationships
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Meeting The Shadow in Love
Why Real Intimacy Begins Where We’re Willing to Look
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the hidden spaces between couples — the places we don’t name, but always feel.
The shadow.The moments of silence after conflict.
The subtle withdrawal or tight smile.
The longings we don’t speak aloud for fear of disrupting the fragile peace.
Or the love that feels out of reach, not because it’s gone, but because it’s buried.In my work with couples over the years, one thing has become clear:
The shadow doesn’t mean something is broken. It means something is waiting.When we meet these parts — the unmet needs, the projections, the tender wounds we inherited or absorbed — we begin to move from reaction to response, from defence to connection.
Real intimacy begins there.
Not in perfection.
Not in “fixing” each other.
But in the brave act of showing up — truthfully, vulnerably, and with heart.Love Without Illusion
Relationships are initiatory. They ask us to evolve.
But in the busyness of life — especially for high-functioning couples, parents, and professionals — we often don’t have the space to breathe, let alone reflect. We spiral into the same arguments. We start living beside each other instead of with each other.
I created Meeting the Shadow in Love because I know what’s possible when we pause long enough to truly listen — not just to our partners, but to the parts of ourselves we’ve exiled in the name of being “good” or “reasonable” or “strong.”
This is the work:
To slow down.
To remember why we came together.
To let the walls soften, even if just for a weekend.A Gentle Invitation
If you and your partner are longing to reconnect — or are at a threshold moment in your relationship — I invite you to join me this September for a two-day couples workshop in North London.
Together, we’ll explore:
Transforming unconscious patterns and protective dynamics
Practising co-regulation and relational repair
Reigniting emotional and erotic intimacy
Shadow work, body-based healing, and the sacred pulse of relationship
And we’ll close with a restorative sound bath, guided by Kasia Marzec, to anchor the experience into your nervous system and your heart.
For couples ready to love more truthfully, not more perfectly.
21–22 September 2025
Highgate, North London | Limited to 6 couples
Learn more & register hereStart Your Journey to Deeper Connection
At Living from the Heart, I offer transformative programs to help you break free from disconnection and cultivate deeper, more fulfilling relationships. -
Turn Holiday Stress into Connection: Navigating Family Dynamics with Grace
Have you ever left a family gathering feeling drained, frustrated, or misunderstood—only to wonder why it always plays out the same way? What if you could flip the script this year and create moments of real connection?
“As Rihanna sang, ‘You can stand under my umbrella,’ the holidays often feel like standing under a glowing shield—protecting yourself from the storm of family tensions while trying to hold onto moments of connection and joy. What if this year, instead of bracing for the chaos, you used those moments as opportunities to grow, reflect, and deepen your relationships?”
Holidays with family: a time of joy or an annual emotional minefield? You are not alone if family gatherings feel more like navigating your childhood wounds than sipping eggnog by the fire. The holidays are meant to bring us closer, but why do they often leave us feeling drained, frustrated, or disconnected? This year, what if you could approach the holiday season differently? Instead of just surviving the chaos, you could use this time to strengthen your relationships—and yourself.
Why Holidays Bring Stress and Opportunity
Family gatherings are often a complex web of emotions, dynamics, and unconscious patterns. Each family member brings their own experiences, unresolved conflicts, and habits. These interactions can feel like emotional minefields but offer a unique opportunity to reflect, connect, and grow. Even challenging moments can catalyse deeper understanding and connection when approached with curiosity and compassion.
Ah, Christmas. The time of twinkling lights, heartwarming carols, and—let’s be honest—family drama. We’ve all been there: juggling the chaos of gift-giving, cooking a feast that could rival MasterChef, and tiptoeing around Uncle Joe’s questionable political opinions. The holidays are a beautiful paradox, aren’t they? They’re full of joy yet peppered with stress. Magical, but not without their moments of tension.
But what if we approached this holiday season differently? What if, instead of striving for the elusive perfect Christmas, we focused on nurturing the connections that truly make the season meaningful? And what if, rather than escalating conflicts or making impulsive decisions, we used these moments as opportunities to grow, heal, and deepen our relationships?
How to Use the Holidays as Opportunities to Grow and Deepen Relationships
The holidays are not just about decorations, gifts, or the perfect feast—they’re about people, connection, and meaning. Even the most challenging moments can lead to growth and deeper bonds when approached consciously. Here’s how:
Turn Friction into Understanding
Use moments of tension as a chance to explore your triggers. Why did that comment bother you? Why are you reacting so strongly? Reflecting on these questions can uncover deeper truths about your needs and boundaries.
Practice active listening during disagreements. Instead of planning your rebuttal, focus on understanding the other person’s perspective. You don’t have to agree, but seeking to understand can diffuse conflict and foster mutual respect.
Practice Radical Kindness
Show love in small, meaningful ways—an unexpected compliment, a h
elping hand in the kitchen, or a heartfelt “thank you.” These gestures can soften even the hardest of hearts.If someone irritates you, challenge yourself to respond with kindness instead of defensiveness. Radical kindness can shift the entire energy of a relationship.
Use Gatherings for Healing
This is the perfect time to address lingering issues with love and care. Pick the right moment and approach conversations with an open heart. Instead of blaming, focus on expressing your feelings and needs in a non-confrontational way.
Be willing to extend forgiveness, even if it’s just for your peace of mind. Letting go of resentment can pave the way for healthier dynamics moving forward.
Celebrate Differences
Embrace the diversity in your relationships. Use these moments to learn from each other, whether it’s differing opinions, cultural traditions, or lifestyle choices. Ask curious questions and show genuine interest—a sign of respect and connection.
Create Shared Moments of Joy
Bond through shared experiences. Play games, tell stories, cook together, or take a family walk. These shared moments create lasting memories and deepen emotional ties.Model Vulnerability
Set the tone for authenticity by being vulnerable yourself. Share something personal—a challenge you overcame, a fear you’re working through, or something you’re grateful for. Vulnerability inspires others to open up, creating deeper connections.
The Gift of Boundaries
Learn to say no to emotional overload and yes to self-care. Healthy boundaries make space for authentic connection. Let go of guilt and focus on what nurtures your well-being during this busy season.
Transformational Reflection
After the holidays, take time to reflect. What did you learn about yourself and your relationships? Use these insights to foster deeper connections in the new year.
Why Peace Matters
When you view the holidays as an opportunity for growth, they transform from a season of stress into a season of meaning. Every interaction—joyful or challenging—is a chance to learn more about yourself and others. By approaching these moments with compassion, curiosity, and a willingness to grow, you’ll survive the holidays and emerge with more potent, authentic relationships.
This Christmas, embrace the chance to reflect, connect, and grow. The holidays might not always be peaceful, but with awareness and compassion, they can be profoundly transformative. Let the gift of self-discovery be your guiding star.
The holidays don’t have to be a minefield of emotional stress. They can become a time of healing, connection, and growth with the right tools and mindset. If you’re ready to approach this season differently, join me for a post-festive MOT. Together, we’ll turn holiday challenges into opportunities for deeper relationships and a more peaceful you.Introducing the Post-Holiday MOT
The holidays can leave us with lingering tensions and unresolved emotions. What if you took a moment to pause, reflect, and reset before diving into the new year?Wishing you warmth, joy, and meaningful moments this holiday season,
Aisha -
Living from the Heart | Somatic Practices for Deeper Connection and Empowered Leadership
The Power of Somatic Healing in Relationships, Individual Growth, and Conscious Leadership
Relationships often face disconnection and recurring conflicts that communication alone cannot resolve. Many don’t realise these emotional blocks are stored in the body, creating barriers to intimacy and personal growth. Somatic healing addresses this by focusing on the body as a key player in emotional processing, helping couples, individuals, and leaders reconnect by releasing physical tension and deep-seated emotional pain.
What is Somatic Healing?
Somatic healing recognises that emotions are not solely mental experiences but are stored in the body. These stored emotions manifest as tension, stress, or even illness. Somatic healing practices— movement, breathwork, and body awareness—help individuals and couples release these blocks, creating a deeper emotional connection, self-awareness, and healing pathway. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk’s work, The Body Keeps the Score, illustrates how unresolved trauma is held in the body, showing that mental approaches alone are insufficient.
Why Somatic Healing is Crucial for Couples and Individuals
Somatic healing builds trust and safety for couples, allowing each partner to engage in a vulnerable, authentic connection. By addressing stored physical tension and emotional pain, couples stop reacting to stress and start responding with empathy and calm.
Somatic healing offers a profound opportunity for self-connection. Many people experience unresolved tension or emotional pain that hinders personal growth. Through somatic healing, individuals can tune into their body’s signals, access the emotional and physical barriers holding them back, and release them. This process helps individuals regain emotional regulation, self-awareness, and personal clarity.
Somatic Healing in Conscious Leadership
Beyond relationships and personal growth, somatic healing plays a pivotal role in conscious leadership. Effective leaders must be grounded, emotionally intelligent, and present in their interactions. Somatic practices teach leaders to stay centred, especially under stress, by tapping into their body’s signals and regulating their emotional responses. In leadership, this heightened awareness allows for better decision-making, more authentic relationships, and a more profound capacity to lead with empathy.
Conscious Leaders often face immense pressure, which can lead to disconnection between themselves and those they lead. To reconnect with their bodies, leaders can practice somatic healing to reduce stress and for resilience. This conscious embodiment enables leaders to engage with others more deeply and to create environments where trust, collaboration, and growth thrive.
Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Disconnection
For many, recurring conflicts stem from unresolved trauma and stress responses embedded in the body. Whether in relationships, personal life, or leadership, these responses create a cycle of disconnection. Somatic healing helps individuals and couples recognise their physical triggers and reframe emotional reactions, leading to more mindful responses and healthier connections.
During moments of stress, our brain’s prefrontal cortex—the area responsible for rational thinking—can shut down, leading to impaired decision-making and emotional reactions driven by unresolved pain. Recognising and addressing these triggers through somatic practices creates more compassionate, conscious responses in relationships and leadership.
Testimonial: Transforming Relationships and Leadership Through Somatic Healing
“Before attending the Living from the Heart workshop, I felt disconnected, not just from my partner but from myself as a leader. The somatic exercises allowed me to tap into emotions I hadn’t addressed, and this shift helped me reconnect emotionally and lead with more presence and empathy.” — Sarah & James.
Building a Somatic Vocabulary: Understanding Your Body’s Signals
An essential part of somatic healing is developing a “somatic vocabulary”—the ability to recognise and understand the body’s signals during stress, conflict, or leadership challenges. Awareness of your body’s physical reactions, such as muscle tension, rapid heart rate, or shallow breathing, allows for better emotional regulation and more effective communication.
Questions to Ask Yourself:
- How does your body feel during moments of stress? Do you tense up or feel your heart race?
- How aware are you of your physical reactions in stressful conversations, conflicts, or leadership decisions?
Tuning into your body’s signals enables you to move from a reactive state to a more centred, mindful response, benefiting your personal relationships and leadership abilities.
Avoiding Spiritual Bypassing in Healing and Leadership
One of the challenges many face is the tendency toward spiritual bypassing—using meditation or spiritual practices to avoid confronting more profound emotional work. As John Welwood points out, it is easy to use spirituality as a means of bypassing uncomfortable emotions, which prevents true growth. Somatic healing, however, invites you to fully embody your emotions and integrate them into your life, fostering real healing and transformation, whether in your personal relationships or as a conscious leader.
Join my next Workshop: A Journey Toward Deeper Connection and Conscious Leadership.
Whether you’re seeking individual healing, stronger relationships, or more effective leadership, our Living from the Heart workshop offers a unique opportunity to experience the transformative power of somatic healing. In a supportive and safe space, you’ll learn how to release stored tension, reconnect emotionally, and become a more conscious and present leader.
Spaces are limited to preserve the experiences of all group members. Sign up to begin your journey toward more profound connection, personal healing, and conscious leadership.
Conclusion: The Transformative Power of Somatic Healing
Somatic healing is vital for anyone seeking to move beyond emotional blockages, reconnect with their body, and experience profound growth in their relationships, personal life, and leadership. By integrating the body’s wisdom, somatic healing helps break free from disconnection cycles, enabling deeper emotional intimacy, self-awareness, and leadership rooted in empathy and authenticity.
Ready to transform your relationship and leadership? Sign up for my upcoming workshop today!
Are You Seeking A Deeper And More Meaningful Connection
Living from The Heart offers specialised couple therapy and couples intensives to help you achieve that. Together, you can embark on a journey of growth, healing, and understanding guided by authentic engagement and mutual discovery to help you rekindle the spark of deep, meaningful connection in your relationship and build a strong foundation for the future. Take the first step towards a more fulfilling partnership today. Contact me to learn more about how my couples’ intensives can help you. -
An Antidote for stress
An Antidote for stress…. As the Holiday season is upon us.
Tis the season of goodwill and happiness, yet December is the month couples and families argue the most. The gap between hope and reality is a destroyer. Christmas and birthdays are breeding grounds for disappointment, disappointment leads to conflict. Because you look for someone to blame. The concentration of time spent together, social interaction, habits and annoying peculiarities that are tolerable, even charming usually can quickly turn toxic when you are together 24/7. Minor irritations may be blown out of all proportion. Any change in your circumstances can trigger anxiety.
Stress can be caused by physiological, psychological, emotional and behavioural responses when a person attempts to adapt and adjust internal or external pressures and demands, leading to a fight or flight reaction. Internal pressures include thoughts, feelings, memories, images, while external pressures are the demands from the world, including your access to support, friends, family, job, and community, to name a few.
Your stress response has evolved to help you take action when needed. The stress response, is a design of nature and natural selection to save your life when faced by immediate, mostly physical crisis. The appropriate action would be to run away or stand and fight. Thankfully this stress response is not suited to the types of stress you encounter daily. The stress response was designed to be short lived, when it is turned on for long periods of time, it becomes damaging. Stress can cause you to make mistakes when you think in extremes. You may find yourself blaming the cause of your discontent on your job, relationship, or the people you live with. Remember that job or relationship is ideal.
Tips for avoiding stress & arguments During the Holidays
If you want to enjoy your break, and return with some tangible and realistic ideas for positive change:
1 Remember the issues you face on holiday are largely the same ones you deal with at home. Expect that they will crop up, so they do not overshadow everything else. Especially when you are put in a room filled with people you only see once a year. The gap between your perceptions of your family and your partner’s is usually considerable. The way your parents relate will have provided you with a template, consciously or unconsciously, for the way you form and behave in relationships. There is no getting away from family, even when they are hundreds of miles away. If you are in a blended family, take all these difficulties and multiply them by 10
2 Postpone arguments. If a conversation starts to get heated, try saying something like: “If we carry on with this conversation it’ll turn into an argument. Let’s not spoil the day. Shall we drop it for now and pick it up again when we both have time to talk things through” Very few arguments suffer from being postponed; most of the time you will not feel care enough to revisit it at a later date.
3 Give up the blame game. If you are unkind to yourself and criticizing yourself, by extension you will be unkind to your partner. If you want to maintain a strong and healthy, being kind to yourself and your partner is one of the first places to start.
4 Take time out. It is unfair on your partner to constantly check work emails while you are supposed to be spending quality time together. Turn off the phone or laptop, if you really must check in with work schedule an hour in the morning or evening to focus on it so it does not detract from the rest of your time together.
5 Schedule some ‘Me’ time. If you are busy you may not be used to living in each other’s pockets. Make time to pursue your own interests. A morning swim or an afternoon stroll round the area or local shops can give you some much needed space. Stress may be experienced as feelings of being overloaded, of being tense, too wound-up or preoccupied by worries. There an antidote. Having something planned for just yourself or with your partner once all the entertaining is over can support yourself and your relationship over the Holiday period.
Do You Suffer from Stress?
Experiencing stress is common, yet considering the damage that long term stress does to your physical, emotional, and psychological wellbeing, as well as the detrimental effects it has on relationships, do you accept that stress is a part of life, or is there something you can do about it? A mild degree of stress is indeed useful to motivate us to take the necessary action, but if it continues unabated you spend more time being pushed around by the stress response and less time taking effective action. You can become trapped in unhelpful ruminative loops which is overwhelming the more you think about a stresses, the more you stimulate the stress response, stimulating more thoughts and more stress. the stresses never really go away. Your stress response is permanently turned on or running on autopilot in the background. The stress response is exhausting your mind/ body if continuously or frequently activated. What you are essentially doing is living life as if you are constantly responding to a crisis, a crisis that has no end. This is damaging psychologically, emotionally and physically, symptoms include chronic fatigue, sleep disruption, muscle atrophy, adult onset diabetes, cardiovascular damage, ulcers, digestive, reproductive problems, and more.
Putting on the Brakes
Your nervous systems can be divided into two main parts central nervous system that encompasses the brain and spinal cord. peripheral nervous system encompassing the nerve tissue outside of the central nervous system. The peripheral nervous system consists of two main parts – the autonomic nervous system and the somatic nervous system. The autonomic nervous system is centrally involved in the stress response. Its mechanisms are automatic, happening outside of your conscious awareness. Broadly, it is a system that it either designed to speed things up or slow things down. An analogy of this system is that of a car the accelerator and the brakes. The stress response essentially pushes hard on the accelerator; you need to learn how to apply the brakes in your body so that you can slow down or even stop the effects of stress. The sympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system is the accelerator, while the parasympathetic branch is the braking system.
Restoring Balance
Practising compassion can play a powerful role in halting the effects of stress, bringing a sense of balance to life. Compassion changes the relationship that you have with others and yourself, moving from criticism towards understanding and kind encouragement, fundamentally changing the way you deal with yourself and others when things go wrong. It has important consequences for how you guide yourself towards balance.
Join me for The perfect antidote after the Hoildays to help you restore your Mind and Body.
The next Living from The Heart retreat will guide you through a process of deep restoration through mind / body techniques that will help you shift stress states into vitality and help you find balance to further cultivate your healing journey. Why go on a retreat?
Restoring the Mind and Body Retreat 29th – 31st January 2016 This 3-day retreat is an opportunity to immerse yourself in the tranquil Chess Valley where you can move to a slower rhythm of nature to restore the Mind, Spirit and Body.
The perfect antidote for stressed out individuals and couples. The Living from The Heart program will guide you through a process of deep restoration through mind / body techniques that will help you shift stress states into vitality and help you find balance to further cultivate your healing journey.
Check in from 3pm on Friday, Depart on Sunday at 4pm includes full board accomodation and all group sessions. Early Bird Booking £395 per person book before 30th November 2015 usual price is £425 per person based on shared occupancy.
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Live your Life with Intention
‘You are what your deepest desire is. As your desire is, so is your intention. As your intention is, so is your will. As your will is, so is your deed. As your deed is, so is your destiny.’
Intention is an important element in any journey. Intention begins with a recognition, of what feels good and joyful. It does not matter how faint, momentary or fleeting. It is unmistakeable and unforgettable because it feels good. Remember for that moment you felt good about yourself. When you form an intention for yourself, you are setting an intention to feel that experience again, to feel it on a more consistent level.
Intention begins with the realisation that you can choose how to be.
When you clarify your intention, a space of consciousness opens up within you. There is a realisation that you can become someone who feels goodness more of the time. Your internal dialogue shifts to an acceptance of the radiance that is innately part of who you already are. You recognise your innate goodness. You have begun a journey to become more of who you already are, deep inside yourself. This journey involves purging layers of conditioned behaviours and responses that have prevented you from recognising your true self, from feeling a deep and loving connection with your inner being and others.
Be Authentic. What do you want most from your life? Do you want to learn how to open your heart? Do you want to be of service? Would you like to learn about compassion and kindness, about self-love, do you wish to learn to love others? What is your heart’s desire? What areas of your life need attention? What has been neglected?Ask your heart what it needs. Write it down. Share your intention with a trusted person who can support you in your efforts.
Make a commitment.
Explore what each of these commitments look like. Set yourself daily, weekly and monthly reminders of your goals. Put into practice a routine that supports these changes you wish to make in the present, always return to this moment.
Before you get out of bed affirm I am having a fun or productive day.
Before you leave the house, affirm that I have quality time with my beloved and loved ones.
Before you start your car, affirm that I have a safe journey.
Before you go to work, affirm that I learn something and can be of service to others.Commit for the long term
Any lasting change requires a long term commitment. If you want to be healthier, you might have to alter your lifestyle i.e. Change your eating habits for good. Challenges befall all of us in many forms it is the cycle of life, beginnings and endings. It is not what happens to you but how you cope with these obstacles that are important.Listen to your heart
Answering life affirming questions demands you to look deep within and reflect upon your life.
Think about your life for a few moments. Get a pen and paper. Take a deep breathe in and out just focus on your breaths. Relax your body, take slow deep breaths inhaling and exhaling. Place your hand over your heart. Notice what is in your heart today even if there is sadness and suffering. Pay attention to where you are right now. Pay attention to what you are doing. If you are sitting what are you sitting on? Where are you? Are you indoors are outdoors what your surroundings are? Who or what is close by in your environment? Become aware of the sounds around you. Close your eyes and tune into the sound of your heart beating.
Only you know the answers to your hearts deepest longings. Take a few breaths relax and ask your heart the following;Where am I
Why am I here?
What am I longing to do with my life?
Where do I want to be?Have Hope
After you have set your intention make a commitment and listen to your heart. Then surrender. You cannot control the outcome. You can take conscious and positive action in the direction of that which calls to your heart, you must trust that the process will unfold in a way that is best for you not necessarily what you want. Your life may head in a direction you never dreamt of.
Intentions are much more powerful when they come from a place of contentment than from a place of lack or need. Be grateful for all that you already have.‘If you just feel happy for what you have, have an attitude of gratitude, and be grateful, then it will come true, you will be great and you will be full.’
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