Heart Centred Practices to Transform your Life & Relationships
Shepherds Close London N6 5AG 07855 781 210
When you live from the heart you feel calm and energetic, accomplished, joyful, strong and at ease. Great relationships thrive in this place.
When I work with couples, I observe how they argue. I can tell a lot about whether couples are going to make it and help them move towards more loving and successful relationships. There are changes couples can make in their responses to each other that can make a huge difference to their relationship.
Frequent arguments, lack of communication, fear of conflict, heated exchanges, and avoidance of issues are all common complaints among couples I work with.
The impact of high conflict in relationships creates negative emotions and anxiety for everyone including your children if you have them, your parenting skills are no good when you are arguing.
These are four hostile forms of communication that put couples at high risk for breaking up or divorce when these patterns become habits.
Criticism blame and character attacks general complaining. Antidote stay specific, issue simple complaints using I statements; I feel taken advantage of when….
Defensiveness be aware of your own behaviour; righteous indignation, or being an innocent victim as a way of turning your back on a perceived attack. Defensiveness is destructive because it escalates tension and creates an adversarial interaction. You might feel taken advantage of, just as much as you might not accept your accountability and responsibility in the situation. The antidote, try empathy active listening repeat back what your partner has described as their complaint adding empathy and accepting responsibility.
Contempt bolstered by hostility and anger is damaging, eye rolling and name calling are markers of contempt it is damaging to health and builds a lack of respect. The antidote to this is to build fondness and admiration, express admiration and gratitude to build appreciation and respect.
Stonewalling withdrawing, lack of expression, no emotional connection, monitoring gazes, not listening exiting the room avoiding conflict.
Antidote ask permission to disengage with the conflict if it is too much instead of disengaging in a hostile way and reconnecting in a more connected way. Arranging a time when this is possible.
Flooding John Gottman has a vivid word for this physiological “fight-or-flight” reaction. Flooding occurs when you have hostile arguments where the Four Horseman (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) are allowed free reign.
Physical signs of flooding are; rapid heart rate, high blood pressure, sweating, and the overwhelming urge to leave or to say something hurtful. When flooded, you operate from a self-preservation mind set. You seek mainly to protect yourself from the turmoil of an escalating argument, either by becoming aggressive verbally or physically, or by trying to get away.
Take notice of your partner’s anger to resolve conflict before it erupts.
Recognise the cycle that you have created together, take ownership of your part in that cycle. Change the cycle by interrupting it, by changing your usual response, step back and doing something different. This is often the very opposite of what you feel like doing in the moment.
What fight have you recently found yourself starting? How will you approach the problem in the future?
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BookGet in touch with Aisha directly on 07855 781210
Remerge with your soul on Living from The Heart Chi Kung & Meditation Retreat 7th – 14th September
Order brings sameness. Chaos brings newness every moment.There is a lot of chaos and creativity in the world at the moment.
The world is changing at an ever increasing rate.
Globally politics, society, and culture is in the midst of transformation, old structures are no longer working.
Your personal Renaissance
Renaissance periods happen after a time of great darkness. things “seem” to be getting darker, those with the light within them are shining even brighter, and searching for answers beyond the veil of corruption.
The Renaissance changed the world in just about every way you can think of. Each new intellectual advance paved the way for further advancements.
Consciousness is the product of carefully balanced chaos.
There are times in life when you may feel motivated, ambitious, eager, and anticipatory. Great strides can be made in many different aspects of your life as a mental renaissance takes place…the cold, hard, dark age of the mind is over and a new light; the light of innovation; shines down upon your mental and emotional landscape, giving birth to something quite extraordinary.
Do you feel called to look inward for answers?
I am a great believer that life always offers you an opportunity for greater consciousness, if you can see that everything in your life is there in support of your growth.
It is said that humans, are a small universe interacting with the ‘big’ universe.
As a Psychotherapist, I know well how the mind can either heal us or harm us. Your thoughts are potent and can affect you profoundly.
In meditation, I have practiced shifting the monkey mind; which is constantly chatting about negative thoughts and worry; into a loving calm energy of the heart.
Join me for Living from The Heart Retreat in Portugal 7th – 14th September chi kung, meditation, retreat. It will be a Soul boosting Week of Personal & Professional Development with +30 hours of CPD (if required)
Fill your life with renewed energy, feel alive, increase your awareness with careful attention and balance of meditation and activity.
Evaluating your belief system and developing a positive one that nurtures your mind, body, and spirit may help you find more loving calm and peaceful experiences with yourself and in your relationships.
Free yourself from your worries. Do you sometimes ask yourself?
During the week on the chi kung, meditation, retreat you will;
Find freedom from stress and enter a calm, relaxed and natural state of clarity
On the chi kung & meditation, retreat; you will cultivate a sustained and gentle attentiveness to the movement and stillness of body, heart and mind. As you bring investigation and kindness to this constantly changing experience of life, the entanglements that bind you become more visible, allowing you to soften and open to the simple perfection of the moment.
Through this cultivation you can access a spaciousness, which allows your natural compassion and wisdom to become more available to you.
The Chi Kung practice is very much part of a meditative inquiry, using simple standing and moving exercises suitable for all levels of experience and health
The retreat will be run in a tranquil location in the forested hills of Central Portugal, situated far from the crowds, just 3 km from the beautiful ‘Castelo de Bode’ lake and 8 km from the small town of Cernache de Bonjardim. The small valley is surrounded by eucalyptus, pine and oak. The trees full, lush foliage create masses of the Qi or Chi (pronounced chee) life force that deflects toxic energy. The old manor house which has been lovingly restored with many of the original features preserved, provides en-suite bedrooms.
Attend alone, bring your partner, friend or family member to a build a more successful relationship or rejuvenate an existing one.
Bring all aspects of your physical, emotional, energetic, mental and spiritual bodies back into alignment and harmony.
This week is open to both individuals and couples.
On this intimate retreat, you will clear anger, resentments, disappointments and grievances to move towards expansion and growth.
Working within a group allows you to explore your history to create a future of experiences where you are the director of your life, creating a new context within which to live your life.
You will experience a calm oasis within a small valley surrounded by eucalyptus, pine and oak Trees. Full of of chi, Trees with full, lush foliage create masses of the Qi or Chi (pronounced chee) life force that deflects toxic energy. A wonderful place to Heal the Heart.The environment lends itself to profound healing and meditative work to gain perspective and healing introspection.
There will be a heart-expanding exploration within the group work, meditations, reflective exercises and mind and body practices. The morning session will usually consist of breath work and Chi Kung; the afternoon sessions will be a mixture of meditation and various group exercises centered on healing the heart with time to digest the work and complete self directed tasks allowing time to stop and stare, while enjoying the surroundings of forested hills and nearby lakes and rivers.
There are places in the world, where you can feel the connection with the divine one of them is Dornes by the Lakes and rivers, known for its strong energy field. Such a place can provide answers to a long unanswered questions and make you feel the energy on a more concentrated spiritual level.
Loving Kindness & Compassion
‘When love has carried us above all things . . . we receive in peace the Incomprehensible Light, enfolding us and penetrating us. What is this Light, if it be not a contemplation of the Infinite, and an intuition of Eternity? We behold that which we are, and we are that which we behold; because our being, without losing anything of its own personality, is united with the Divine Truth.” Ruysbroeck
The darkest week of the year marked by the Winter solstice has arrived along with Mercury retrograde, this is always a time of truth, when communications seem disrupted and misunderstandings are rife, misunderstandings themselves are part of the truth of being human. Mercury is retrograde from 19th December – 8th January, giving us a chance to address short comings and mistakes and correct the course of events.
The experience of darkness, shadow or Dark Night of the Soul, is necessary in order to feel the emerging light as celebratory, many people want to avoid the darkness. There is something fearful about the absence of physical light because it evokes the dark side of the psyche; your fears and depressed moods, your envies and secret longings.
Ask yourself; ‘What truth does this reveal to me, and why have I needed it revealed in this way at this time?’
In the darkest part of the year when the days are shortest, Mother Nature reminds every body to slow down, enjoy time with loved ones, to be open to listening. A time to move towards the vibration of compassion to become more effective in your relationships.
The days after the winter solstice begin to lengthen, shifting from the darkest part of the year back into the ever increasing light, is a perfect time to clear the old to make room for the new.
Many people feel unsettled about the global changes taking place, this has been accompanied by low vibrational emotions such as anger, blame, self-judgment, hopelessness, frustration, fear and worry, that do not serve consciousness nor good decision making.
Distress is alleviated by attending to yourself and your inner turmoil.
Everything you do and think affects the people in your life and their reactions to you. The choices you make have consequences. Each of us carries within the capacity to change the world in small ways for better or worse.
Every single effect within the world, upon the earth has a cause, an original starting point.
All paths have an original first step and from that first step comes a chain reaction of events with further offshoots spanning out in all directions and so on duplication and replication takes place.
All your thoughts and your behaviour and movements affect the entire universe according to the law of cause and effect.
When was the last time you were truly kind to yourself? Not just rewards and gifts, but true kindness?
Only when you have established a kind relationship with yourself can you begin to be truly loving with others; love is generated and experienced from within. In this state you are able to really open your hearts in our treatment of others.
Learning to treat yourself with kindness, to open your heart to yourself and others is the first and most important step in cultivating loving-kindness and compassion;
The passage of Mercury retrograde is a gift from the heavens giving you an opportunity to reflect, take stock, review, and correct mistakes you may previously have made in the rush, take your time to make conscious choices and plant seeds of new perspectives.
When you experience the true depth of the darkness of despair, tears might well up spontaneously, it can have a soothing effect. It changes your physiology from sympathetic nervous system defense and denial patterns into parasympathetic relaxation states. It improves your perspective on the world, especially if this disclosure is shared with another person. When you give into the exhaustion, you might fall into a restful and healing sleep, a sleep that could last a few minutes or hours. You can awaken feeling loving kindness compassion renewed and rested.
Being in contact with your bodily sensations, hidden rage towards a current or past injustice, an unexpressed desire for fulfillment or failure is not about acting on them but simply about feeling them. When you do this, what you have hidden from yourself in darkness can now be revealed in the light of awareness. You can become more completely yourself, more confident and more fully alive.
If then, we would indeed restore mankind by truly botanic, magnetic, or natural means, let us first be as simple and well as Nature ourselves, dispel the clouds which hang over our brows, and take up a little life into our pores. Do not stay to be an overseer of the poor, but endeavor to become of the worthies of the world.” Henry David Thoreau
Sometimes the “life” you need to take in feels like a retreat and a loss. Nature herself waxes and wanes, grows and recedes, lives and dies. In the midst of this shifting and change is one certainty.
The inner eternal light will naturally follow the dark time of the soul; it’s the way of the earth and of all her creatures.
By practicing the relaxation techniques on a daily basis, you learn to let go of the unhealthy emotional states that lead to the physical and emotional tension. Meditation includes a strong element of bodily relaxation.
You can learn how to directly affect your emotional and mental states, promoting calmness and contentment. Learning how your body/ mind interacts will help you to influence your emotional states by regulating your posture and breathing and lifestyle.
Restoring Mind, Body, Spirit Retreat can help you to become more aware of how to make conscious choices that lead to outcomes that are more supportive of your well being and happiness.
Stress causes deterioration in your Mind and Body, rendering you more susceptible to illnesses ranging from heart disease, posttraumatic stress disorder, depression, chronic stress has been linked to ailments as diverse as intestinal problems, gum disease, erectile dysfunction, growth problems and even cancer.
Stress is a measure of your mental and physical resistance to circumstances beyond your control.
Stressors are threats, demands, or changes to which you attach special, significant importance, you may struggle or feel discomfort or uncertainty in your responses.
Your autonomic nervous system (the part that regulates how your unconscious physiological processes function) is divided into two parts – the sympathetic and the parasympathetic autonomic nervous systems.
The sympathetic nervous system is responsible in part for the “fight or flight” response. It is stimulated when you are under pressure, and results in increased arousal.
The parasympathetic nervous system does the opposite; it returns your system to a balanced, or homeostatic, state.
The hormones your body produces boost heart rate, increase respiration and increase the availability of glucose (cellular fuel) in the blood, thereby enabling the well-known “fight or flight” reaction.
These responses use a lot of energy, stress affects physical processes such as digestion, reproduction, physical growth and some aspects of the immune system; to shut or slow down.
There are different types of stress that can be harmful to your well being.
Cumulative Stress slowly accumulates over time. It’s just one small thing after and another, until you are overwhelmed and can not take it any more.
Chronic Stress does not easily go away. You may wake up every morning with it and can not stop to think about it on the bed every night. Many people complaining of enduring back pain tend to have chronic stress. Many people injured in their 40’s or 50’s suffer from never ending pain that can not be easily be cured by medical procedures. They are in an irritable state and easily get angry when confronted with even a small problem!
Catastrophic Stress can affect people after an intense and unexpected traumatic event, such as an accident, hurricanes, or act of violence, it can be devastating, especially for those who are immediately affected. A trauma is a life-altering event, a horrific kind of stress. Some people are unable to recover from catastrophic stress. Many people suffering PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) can take many years to recover from catastrophic stress. The death of a loved one is catastrophic. People build strong attachments over time, once broken, it brings a lot of personal pain. Grief is not something that comes or ends swiftly. People can often become overwhelmed by the complexity and dilemmas of their personal and professional lives.
Control Stress People feel more competent, stronger, and safer when they have control, often situations in life do not allow us to have that opportunity. You may end up time poor without enough time to devote to your favourite activities. Once an energetic, positive person, with dynamic personality, you may find yourself constantly exhausted, thinking things will never change, dreading going to work, cranky, and suffering from stomach pains and migraine headaches. Your have no mastery over your life life with no ability to make choices based on your awareness.
Taking a step back from life enables you to move forward with greater ease and grace with renewed clarity towards what you wish to create.
Attending a retreat with Living from The Heart provides such an opportunity for growth.
In life what is an unhealthily stressful situation for one person may be a bracing challenge for another.
Stress is your response to external circumstances. You can learn coping behaviors and live in a more balanced way. New behavior patterns have to be learned, not adopted as an act of will.
This involves taking responsibility for your mental, emotional and physical states, training yourself to alter how you respond to experiences, especially difficult ones, to affect outcomes both internally, in terms of mental and emotional states that you experience, and externally, in terms of the situations that you create that can become more conducive to your well being and happiness. When you become deeply aware of the patterns that your mind and emotions give rise to including the patterns of responses that you experience as stress.
You become more aware, for example, of how you might blow things out of proportion, to add to your woes.
You might become aware of how you indulge in anxious thoughts, so that a neutral thought about something you have to do leads to worrying about what will happen if you do not do it, and how this leads in turn to you actively seeking things to worry about.
Once you are aware of these internal activities, you clearly are in a better position to do something about them.
With awareness comes choice. Once you are aware of a pattern of experience, you can choose to act in a different way.
No awareness = No choice
Restoring Mind, Body, Spirit Retreat can help you to become more aware of how to make choices that lead to outcomes that are more supportive of your well being and happiness.
By practicing the relaxation techniques on a daily basis, you learn to let go of the unhealthy emotional states that lead to the physical and emotional tension. Meditation includes a strong element of bodily relaxation.
To begin to understand how this works you can listen to a body awareness and relaxation exercises on the Meditation page.
You can learn how to directly affect your emotional and mental states, promoting calmness and contentment. Learning how your body/ mind interacts will help you to influence your emotional states by regulating your posture and breathing and lifestyle.
Remember that the clocks change on 30th October at 2am.
They are going backwards meaning the UK will revert back to Greenwich Mean Time. There will also be an hour less sunlight in the evenings.
In the UK, daylight savings time was officially introduced following the The Summer Time Act 1916. The law followed a campaign by builder William Willett; the grandfather of Coldplay singer Chris Martin; who was a lifelong advocate for Daylight Savings Time (DST).
He believed in the summer it would save on energy costs and enable people to have more recreation time outdoors
“Everyone appreciates the long light evenings,” Mr Willet wrote in 1907 ‘Everyone laments their shrinkage as the days grow shorter, and nearly everyone has given utterance to a regret that the clear bright light of early mornings, during spring and summer months, is so seldom seen or used.”
Shadow Work is a way to bring your true self out of shadow and into the light.
Shadow Work is a way of transforming parts of your character that you would like to change with compassion and understanding of these diverse parts.
The World needs Conscious People. Our World Is a Reflection Of Everyone’s Consciousness. Yes, your consciousness makes a difference.
Your commitment to bring consciousness to your inner world can make huge shifts personally and globally, it can have a profound influence on what occurs in the physical world.
Fear lives in the personal and collective Shadow. Many people are afraid of the darkness within, they project it outside and fight these monsters that are projected into the world.
On your journey towards greater self-awareness and spiritual expansion, you encounter the Shadow Self.
This is hidden from your conscious self-image.
The Shadow represents the rejected, repressed, undeveloped and denied.
These are dark disowned aspects of your being.
When the full extent of the shadow is revealed, it can be quite a shock.
Yet there is positive undeveloped potential in the Shadow because it is always with you and holds so much of your life energy.
The key is to recognise it and transform it in useful and positive ways.
Making a shift requires you to remove what is not in harmony or alignment, physically, emotionally and spiritually in your life.
When you go into the darkness inside yourself and face that darkness, you discover that it is not that dark after all, the fears that you had, have the potential to be transformed, you can discover the light that is hidden within the darkness, the light that holds so much potential and creativity.
Many people blame relationship problems on a lack of love and the other person not ‘being enough’.
In truth it is the challenge of being close and loving in a relationship that uncovers the difficulty.
A close relationship is a powerful light, and like any strong light it casts a large shadow.
When you stand in the light of a close relationship, you will encounter the shadow.
‘There is a psychological law that says when we don’t own and consciously recognise a significant inner conflict the situation has to be played out through external circumstances. This is sometimes known as “fate”
Jahnavi will be working along side me during the workshop, she will lead the Kirtan during this workshop using sacred sound. Jahnavi was raised in a family of bhakti yoga practitioners at Bhaktivedanta Manor in Hertfordshire.
She is a multi- disciplinary artist, trained in both Indian and Western classical dance and music, as well as writing and visual arts.
After graduating with a BA in Linguistics and Creative Writing, she travelled internationally with the sacred music band, ‘Gaura Vani and As Kindred Spirits’, for five years, presenting the dynamic stories and spiritual culture of India for a fresh, contemporary audience. She now helps to run ‘Kirtan London’, a project which aims
to make sacred mantra music accessible and relevant to a wider audience, including schools, mental health institutions. She writes regularly on spirituality and the arts for various publications, as well as on her blog – ‘The Little Conch’ (www.littleconch.com). She has released her debut sacred music album, ‘Like a River to the Sea’ in July 2015 and was nominated for a Grammy in 2016 for the charity album ‘Bhakti Without Borders’.
To Book a place Shadow workshop
A Shift in Consciousness
The shadow & The Political Psyche
‘Remember, we are all affecting the world every moment, whether we mean to or not. Our actions and states of mind matter, because we’re so deeply interconnected with one another. Working on our own consciousness is the most important thing that we are doing at any moment, and being love is the supreme creative act’. Ram Dass
There are currently significant shifts in the world presenting opportunities for you to make huge changes in your life.
Are you going to seize opportunities or get caught up in fear and polarised thinking?
Consciousness is possible by making changes based on considered decision making, and creating a support system that sustains growth and expansion.
How can you make the most out of the energetic shifts that are taking place? On the Healing the Heart Retreat in September and the Shadow workshop in November, I will be helping people to make conscious transitions, to awaken to their intuition, deal with conflict and transform depression, anxiety and fear into Empowerment and Love.
I ask you to consider these four points to bring some awareness to what pushes you into Fear and the Shadow
1. What am I afraid of?
It is important to know what triggers your fear response, what scares you? Is it about the moment? Poor health? financial insecurity? Freedom arises when you know what forces are at work within you and then knowing how you can deal with it.
2. Where do these fears come from?
Did you have parents who were abusive or neglectful? Did you have a parent who could not see who you were? Were situations unfair? Were you bullied? Oppressed? Are these founded in reality or are they projections or unresolved conflict within you? Have you been left or abandoned? Do you fear that you are unlovable?
3. What Triggers my fears?
What influences you? Who or what are you listening to, responding to? Are you suggestible? Are your responses coming from unresolved Trauma? How do you respond to a crisis? After a trauma, people may go though a wide range of responses. Such reactions may be experienced not only by people who experienced the trauma first-hand, but by those who have witnessed or heard about the trauma, or been involved with those immediately affected. Many reactions can be triggered by persons, places, or things associated with the trauma. Some reactions may appear totally unrelated. It takes care and time to unravel and heal trauma.
4. What changes can I make to create more Freedom?
Take action when you are ready and have regained a sense of inner peace and balance do not act from a place of fear. Stop telling yourself negative stories. Turn off the source. Fear is contagious when you keep replaying the same soundtrack over and over and over again– we are doomed – I will never have enough money – No one will Love me – When you keep repeating over and over again, you create a reality based on your shadow and fear. Stay in the present moment, do not worry catastrophize or anticipate the future….focus on the here and now and make better choices about your perception and attitude. Yes – your attitude is everything.
History repeats itself for those who are unwilling to learn
Consciousness is about transforming fear with courage to alleviate suffering.
Jung illuminated the root cause of conflict to be found in the unconscious psyche of humanity – A place where fear resides.
This is when people project their shadow, the unconscious, unseen, feared, unresolved and conflicted, the dark side or rejected parts of themselves. This ‘inner’ act results in incredible destruction in the “outer” world.
This is an act of Violence, when you attempt to disassociate from your shadow.
When you project your shadow, you throw your darkness outside of yourself and see it as existing only in others.
Many people react violently when they encounter an embodied reflection of their shadow, they may wish to destroy it, as it reminds them of something dark within themselves that they would rather have nothing to do with. They “demonise” enemies, believing that “they” are inhumane enemies who need to be destroyed.
This is the underlying psychological process which, when collectively mobilised, is the high-octane fuel which feeds war and conflict.
When a group or a nation co-operatively project the shadow onto an agreed upon enemy, you incarnate the very shadow you are trying to get rid of.
It creates a dangerous situation in that the disturbing effects are now attributed to a wicked will outside yourself which is naturally not to be found anywhere but with your neighbour…. This leads to collective delusions, ‘incidents,’ revolutions, war- in a word, to destructive mass psychosis.”
Jung wrote that “…the normal person…acts out his psychic disturbances socially and politically, in the form of mass psychosis like wars and revolutions.
Projecting the shadow, is a way of avoiding dealing with the ‘evil’ inside of yourself, it is a primal act which generates the very “evil” that you are attempting to avoid in the first place.
Jung said, “Nations have their own particular psychology, and their own particular kind of psychopathology…. the most striking is suggestibility which affects an entire nation.”
Jung continually warned that the greatest danger that the species faced was the psychic epidemic in which millions of people fall into their unconscious together and because of their “suggestibility,” mutually projecting the shadow onto an agreed upon adversary, thus reinforcing each others’ disassociation, and hence, madness.
When enough people fall into mass projection, they dream up someone to play the role of leader who is an expression of their unconsciousness. The Leader represents all that is unconscious in a nation, the voice of the all that is rejected and unresolved incarnated in the body of politics as a psychic epidemic.
A reciprocal shadow relationship existed between Hitler and the Germans in the 1930s, as is eloquently expressed by Walter Langer, author of The Mind of Adolf Hitler;
“…the madness of the Fuehrer has become the madness of a nation, if not of a large part of the continent…these are not wholly the actions of a single individual but that a reciprocal relationship exists between the Fuehrer and the people and that the madness of the one stimulates and flows into the other and vice versa.
It was not only Hitler, the madman, who created German madness, but German madness that created Hitler. Having created him as its spokesman and leader, it has been carried along by his momentum, perhaps far beyond the point where it was originally prepared to go. Nevertheless, it continues to follow his lead in spite of the fact that it must be obvious to all intelligent people now that his path leads to inevitable destruction.” Walter Langer ‘The Mind of Adolf Hitler.’
Globally we can see this being played out as though on a stage between nations, political parties and governments.
When you Awaken to consciousness – Violence is No Longer an Option within the entire spectrum of your relationships, intimate, friendships, family, social, economic, political seen and unseen.
Freedom is possible when you relate to yourself and others with openness to discover each individual at a time.
When you become aware of how you affect the world in every moment, intended or not. Your actions and thoughts matter because we are all connected. The path of consciousness is the only way forward.
Illuminating your inner darkness frees you from the unconscious compulsion to project the shadow outside of yourself. By recognising, owning and illuminating your darkness, you can transform the darkness in the world into consciousness. By withdrawing your shadow projections from the outer world, you can become an activist of peace.
Your heart carries a unique vibration it has a unique energy field and consciousness. Connecting with your heart energy is the most powerful tool you have for creating healthy relationships, balance, health, love and peace in your life, your heart has a consciousness. Your heart is a very powerful organ.
Listen not just with your ears, but with your heart, Listen with your essence – with every sense of your being.
When the inner waters of your mind are completely calm, can you be truly in sync with nature and your authentic self, a true union with the divine.
‘You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend’. Bruce Lee
“Everything in Life is Vibration” Albert Einstein
Every vibration produces a corresponding geometric form. Your Thoughts and Emotions create your Vibration and circumstances in your life, including Illness. Words are vibrations, which can Perpetuate or Heal Past Experiences.
Prayer and mantras are vibrations that carry positive healing energy.
The sound Om encompasses all words and sounds in human languages. Om is the cosmic sound of creation, the vibration of the universe, its energetic frequency connects unites everything.
Cultural, values and beliefs are encoded into the collective unconscious through language, symbols and words.
Beliefs can be held collectively in groups, families or nations. These messages are carried generationally, when unexamined and unchallenged they can create suffering for yourself and others. Trauma in the same way can be passed over generations. Trauma can take many shapes and forms. Trauma can be experienced physically, mentally, emotionally and beyond. Trauma can create obstacles to finding peace within yourself and the world.
Healing Trauma is an important focus of Living from The Heart which integrates Energy, Mind/ Body, Meditation and Psychotherapy. Unhealed trauma prevents people and groups from raising their vibration. Energy healing and Emotional clearing, helps people who are stuck in repetitive life circumstances and relationships. Emotions are energy, they carry a vibration also.
Quantum physics and the law of nature states everything has a vibration, thoughts are vibrations of energy, these vibrations influence your perception. Everything that manifests itself in your life is there because it matches the vibration from your thoughts.
When you become conscious of your thoughts as being vibrations of energy you begin to understand the powerful influence that each thought has and you connect with the power of intention.
John Lennon was encouraging the world to use the power of thought and intention to be conscious of your imagination and its potential, to create Peace beckoning the listener to imagine a world at peace without the barriers of borders or the divisions, to imagine humanity unattached to material possessions.The imagination, John Lennon was telling us, is the most powerful tool we have. Use it.
Every individual has potential, and is capable of influencing others, creating a ripple effect which can change society. If you approach the world as violent, self-gratifying or inconsiderate, what reactions will you generate? This is a time to be conscious of your actions and attitudes and their consequences.
We can use the power of collective consciousness through visualisation, prayer, mantra and meditation to improve the world.
What if everyone focussed their attention on visualising a peaceful world, characterised by nonviolence and harmonious relationships?
Your thoughts and feelings make ripples. Every action, thought and feeling have vibrations in a sea of energy, affecting everyone forever changing the composition of the whole universe, however small that change is. Change starts with you. Become strong so that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
Join me for a monthly Healing the Heart Meditation virtual event attend from any where in the world.
Please sign up here to be added to this free monthly group all you need to do is turn up and tune in.
Details will be emailed to you.
Imagine the power of your thoughts.
“What you may fail to see inside is a result of how you choose to process everything and everyone in your world. You project onto the world what you see inside, and you fail to project into the world what you fail to see inside. If you knew that you were an expression of the universal spirit of intention, that’s what you’d see. You’d raise your energy level beyond any possibility of encumbrances to your connection to the power of intention. It is only discord acting within your own feelings that will ever deprive you of every good thing that life holds for you! If you understand this simple observation, you’ll curb interferences to intention.” Wayne Dyer ‘The Power of Intention
Every being, a cell, plant, animal or human, lives by vibrating; by expanding and contracting taking in the new and letting go of the old. Your mind, too, vibrates, alternating between expanding to receive new ideas and contracting to get rid of the old.
Your Heart beats a rhythm of giving and receiving.
The nerves and arteries in your body contract and expand, to circulating blood, carrying nutrients to supply cells and eliminate toxins in the same way that the air (Chi or Prana) is carried to and from the cells.
Your body is constantly vibrating contracting and expanding, your stomach to digest and your bowels to eliminate.
The vibration in the cells of trees and plants allows the sap to rise, flow and feeds trees and plants.
When parts of your body become stressed or dis-eased, they are no longer vibrating at their optimal resonant frequency. To recalibrate your frequency, you need to understand how lower and higher vibrations affect your energy and health by taking care of your internal and external environments.
Your thoughts and feelings, and the mental and emotional vibrations that emanate from you, create the atmosphere around you. People can sense this atmosphere and are affected by it. This atmosphere also affects their feelings toward you. Please visit Living from The Heart’s resources for raising your consciousness.
Become conscious of the foods you eat. Pay attention to how you feel after eating something.
Become conscious of the music you listen to. What messages does it give you?
Become conscious of your home environment. Is it a peaceful oasis?
Become conscious of the vibration levels of your acquaintances, friends, and extended family.
Become conscious of practicing random acts of kindness and in return expect nothing. How does this affect you?
Become conscious of your mind/ body find ways to raise your vibration through meditation, breath work, Chi Kung is a wonderful way to raise your vibration as is a regular Yoga practice.
Become conscious of going to sleep with a grateful, open heart, it is a powerful healing practice.
Awaken and enter a blissful Heart space of potentiality and healing on a Living from The Heart Retreat, Consultation or Workshop
Love is a natural state of consciousness. Love is at your very core. Love shines a light on your uniqueness. In the spontaneity of love, boundaries disappear. When love appears, separateness disappears.
OM Shanti Shanti Shanti
I would love to hear your thoughts, experiences and comments!
They support aliveness, satisfaction and growth in intimate relationships. Relationships are a scared path. A Conscious relationship is a path of self-realisation. Being conscious is more than being physically awake and more than just being aware. Awareness refers to knowingness at the mental level, while consciousness is a state of knowingness that encompasses all mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of yourself. To be conscious is to be aware of your thoughts, emotions, existence, sensations, and surroundings.
Humanity & Consciousness
Humanity is on the brink of major transformation. Relationships are the missing link to creating a collective consciousness of humanity, contributing to a healthy, happy, whole, and peaceful planet. You can relate to others and yourself responsibly and compassionately, which can be transformative.
Responsibility is the willingness to take ownership of any “baggage” you bring to your relationships. When you heal your relationships with yourself, your partners, your family, and your communities, you create the possibility of a conscious and peaceful world. It begins with you. If you bring your entire reality into full consciousness and take positive action, you will find yourself in the flow of life. In this state of grace, ease, and lightness, you find yourself no longer dependent or reliant on things that are in a certain way good or bad for your well-being. The consciousness you operate within is equivalent to the lens with which you see reality. Your perceptions, beliefs, mindsets and values now result from the consciousness you are operating in. When you experience a shift in your consciousness due to an Aha moment or inner realisation, you are breaking away from your old consciousness, old belief systems and attitudes. You begin to see things in a new light.
The Shadow & Consciousness Many people, at some point, run into all the unconscious stuff they have never looked at. One day, the unconscious material from the past can become re-enacted or recreated in an undesirable form. Everyone carries a shadow and wounds from the past, which are inevitably triggered by close relationships. In other words, you may expect to feel abandoned, not valued or listen to, worthless, trapped, rejected, unlovable. You may look for this unconsciously.
When something difficult occurs, uncomfortable feelings emerge, or things do not go according to plan. In these situations, you might fail to see that these difficult feelings stem from your relational patterns – the past affecting you in the ‘here and now’. The other person does not cause these feelings and issues; they have been created from your past wounding, beliefs and relational patterns. Be conscious about your relationships by not attributing blame, hate, anger and guilt. Do not enter into bouts of insanity, despair, depression and self-doubt. You will feel powerless here, constantly looking outside for approval and answers. You can step into conscious relationships with yourself and others and gain peace and clarity.
Becoming conscious requires you to look at your past and current issues in relationships and take responsibility for them; only then can you create something new and dissolve dysfunctional relational patterns. Most of your core wounds, fears and traumas develop as a child within your relationship with your primary caregivers. Often, people who have suffered trauma consciously try to suppress their recollection of the painful events.
‘Over time the forgetting becomes automatic rather than wilful, in the same way that riding a bicycle requires a great deal of conscious mental and physical effort during the learning phase but becomes automatic over time’. David SpiegelRelationships work when you are aware of looking at yourself truthfully and exploring how your life experiences as a child have shaped how you respond to life now. A conscious relationship requires people who encourage one another’s growth; their relationship strives towards something more significant than gratification. The relationship is a journey of evolution, where people create growth opportunities. You are here to grow. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. When growth stops, you will feel like something has gone wrong. Without growth, you are not fulfilling your path. Learn more about conscious relationships with yourself and others Conscious relationship weekend 2nd – 3rd June
The Gift of Vulnerability & Listening When you connect deeply with another person, your heart naturally opens toward a whole new world of possibilities. This opening of your heart can make you aware of how you are stuck and asleep. Having the courage to be open takes you into the realm of vulnerability. Here, you are seen fully. Love requires you to see and be seen in the fullness of yourself. When you gift vulnerability, you create a space for the other person to share their vulnerability with you. Here, you can love and be loved for who you and they truly are. Gift someone your entire presence, with an open heart, without judgment or trying to find a solution. Your emotional experiences are not problems; they are simply experiences.
‘Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced’. Soren Kierkegaard
Trust & Integrity in Conscious Relationships Trust is vital in conscious relationships. It begins with you believing in the value of your partners’ words and the integrity of their character. When you mistrust others, it is a mirror of the mistrust you have of yourself.
A conscious relationship requires you to have integrity and keep your word. If you are trustworthy and have integrity, you will have relationships that reflect this. When this is not happening, and you are growing in different directions, you may choose to end a relationship. Be open and present to receive all the lessons and grace a relationship can offer. To reap this bounty, you must fully commit to being in the relationship with your whole being for the time you consciously choose to be in the relationship. Relationships inevitably bring you up against your most painful unresolved emotional conflicts from the past, continually stirring you up against things in yourself that you cannot stand—all your worst fears, neuroses, and fixations. If you focus on only one side of your nature at the expense of the other, you have no path and, therefore, cannot find a way forward. This also limits the possibilities of your relationships as well. Love is a transformative power precisely because it brings the two sides of yourself—the expansive and the contracted, the awake and the asleep—into direct contact. Love challenges you to keep expanding in precisely places you imagine you can not open any further.
‘Intimate relationship is perhaps the ashram of the 21st Century—a place especially ripe with transformational possibility, a combination crucible and sanctuary for the most profound sort of healing and awakening, through which the full integration of our physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and spiritual dimensions is more than possible’Robert Augustus Masters
Learn more about the conscious relationships with Living from The Heart. Transform yourself and your relationships.
Continue to Grow and become conscious!
Tis the season of goodwill and happiness, yet December is the month couples and families argue the most. The gap between hope and reality is a destroyer. Christmas and birthdays are breeding grounds for disappointment, disappointment leads to conflict. Because you look for someone to blame. The concentration of time spent together, social interaction, habits and annoying peculiarities that are tolerable, even charming usually can quickly turn toxic when you are together 24/7. Minor irritations may be blown out of all proportion. Any change in your circumstances can trigger anxiety.
Stress can be caused by physiological, psychological, emotional and behavioural responses when a person attempts to adapt and adjust internal or external pressures and demands, leading to a fight or flight reaction. Internal pressures include thoughts, feelings, memories, images, while external pressures are the demands from the world, including your access to support, friends, family, job, and community, to name a few.
Your stress response has evolved to help you take action when needed. The stress response, is a design of nature and natural selection to save your life when faced by immediate, mostly physical crisis. The appropriate action would be to run away or stand and fight. Thankfully this stress response is not suited to the types of stress you encounter daily. The stress response was designed to be short lived, when it is turned on for long periods of time, it becomes damaging. Stress can cause you to make mistakes when you think in extremes. You may find yourself blaming the cause of your discontent on your job, relationship, or the people you live with. Remember that job or relationship is ideal.
If you want to enjoy your break, and return with some tangible and realistic ideas for positive change:
1 Remember the issues you face on holiday are largely the same ones you deal with at home. Expect that they will crop up, so they do not overshadow everything else. Especially when you are put in a room filled with people you only see once a year. The gap between your perceptions of your family and your partner’s is usually considerable. The way your parents relate will have provided you with a template, consciously or unconsciously, for the way you form and behave in relationships. There is no getting away from family, even when they are hundreds of miles away. If you are in a blended family, take all these difficulties and multiply them by 10
2 Postpone arguments. If a conversation starts to get heated, try saying something like: “If we carry on with this conversation it’ll turn into an argument. Let’s not spoil the day. Shall we drop it for now and pick it up again when we both have time to talk things through” Very few arguments suffer from being postponed; most of the time you will not feel care enough to revisit it at a later date.
3 Give up the blame game. If you are unkind to yourself and criticizing yourself, by extension you will be unkind to your partner. If you want to maintain a strong and healthy, being kind to yourself and your partner is one of the first places to start.
4 Take time out. It is unfair on your partner to constantly check work emails while you are supposed to be spending quality time together. Turn off the phone or laptop, if you really must check in with work schedule an hour in the morning or evening to focus on it so it does not detract from the rest of your time together.
5 Schedule some ‘Me’ time. If you are busy you may not be used to living in each other’s pockets. Make time to pursue your own interests. A morning swim or an afternoon stroll round the area or local shops can give you some much needed space. Stress may be experienced as feelings of being overloaded, of being tense, too wound-up or preoccupied by worries. There an antidote. Having something planned for just yourself or with your partner once all the entertaining is over can support yourself and your relationship over the Holiday period.
Experiencing stress is common, yet considering the damage that long term stress does to your physical, emotional, and psychological wellbeing, as well as the detrimental effects it has on relationships, do you accept that stress is a part of life, or is there something you can do about it? A mild degree of stress is indeed useful to motivate us to take the necessary action, but if it continues unabated you spend more time being pushed around by the stress response and less time taking effective action. You can become trapped in unhelpful ruminative loops which is overwhelming the more you think about a stresses, the more you stimulate the stress response, stimulating more thoughts and more stress. the stresses never really go away. Your stress response is permanently turned on or running on autopilot in the background. The stress response is exhausting your mind/ body if continuously or frequently activated. What you are essentially doing is living life as if you are constantly responding to a crisis, a crisis that has no end. This is damaging psychologically, emotionally and physically, symptoms include chronic fatigue, sleep disruption, muscle atrophy, adult onset diabetes, cardiovascular damage, ulcers, digestive, reproductive problems, and more.
Your nervous systems can be divided into two main parts central nervous system that encompasses the brain and spinal cord. peripheral nervous system encompassing the nerve tissue outside of the central nervous system. The peripheral nervous system consists of two main parts – the autonomic nervous system and the somatic nervous system. The autonomic nervous system is centrally involved in the stress response. Its mechanisms are automatic, happening outside of your conscious awareness. Broadly, it is a system that it either designed to speed things up or slow things down. An analogy of this system is that of a car the accelerator and the brakes. The stress response essentially pushes hard on the accelerator; you need to learn how to apply the brakes in your body so that you can slow down or even stop the effects of stress. The sympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system is the accelerator, while the parasympathetic branch is the braking system.
Practising compassion can play a powerful role in halting the effects of stress, bringing a sense of balance to life. Compassion changes the relationship that you have with others and yourself, moving from criticism towards understanding and kind encouragement, fundamentally changing the way you deal with yourself and others when things go wrong. It has important consequences for how you guide yourself towards balance.
Join me for The perfect antidote after the Hoildays to help you restore your Mind and Body.
The next Living from The Heart retreat will guide you through a process of deep restoration through mind / body techniques that will help you shift stress states into vitality and help you find balance to further cultivate your healing journey. Why go on a retreat?
Restoring the Mind and Body Retreat 29th – 31st January 2016 This 3-day retreat is an opportunity to immerse yourself in the tranquil Chess Valley where you can move to a slower rhythm of nature to restore the Mind, Spirit and Body.
The perfect antidote for stressed out individuals and couples. The Living from The Heart program will guide you through a process of deep restoration through mind / body techniques that will help you shift stress states into vitality and help you find balance to further cultivate your healing journey.
Check in from 3pm on Friday, Depart on Sunday at 4pm includes full board accomodation and all group sessions. Early Bird Booking £395 per person book before 30th November 2015 usual price is £425 per person based on shared occupancy.
The depth of intimacy with yourself is the starting point for profound love. Intimacy is courageously peering within, aiming the light of conscious awareness into the dark crevasses within yourself; acknowledging fears of abandonment, crippling jealousies, your sense of inadequacy, vices, triggers, shame, or predisposition to anger and outbursts of long buried rage.
It is about showing up and facing the demons in your abyss created in reaction to traumatic experiences. By working to make allies of these misunderstood enemies you can truly create an intimate relationship with yourself unearthing and transmuting, you begin a revolution. This is how family generational patterns are undone. It begins with YOU.
True intimacy attracts fellow travellers along the path, based on honesty and truth. Your ability to look non judgmentally at yourself, at them, at the world will be attractive and deeply appreciated along with your infectious dexterity in igniting change. People will find respite in your presence. Shared intimacy takes on a boldness and daring that is refreshing, passionate, and nurturing. As the love you feel for yourself deepens, your capacity to enjoy intimate love takes root and rockets.
The dark side of human nature is often described as the Ego, the id, or the lower self. Carl Jung called it the “shadow.”
The shadow represents the negative side of the personality, the sum total of all those unpleasant qualities that you would prefer to hide. Everything that is in your conscious awareness is in the light. Everything of substance which stands in the light whether it is a tree or an idea also casts a shadow. What remains in darkness is outside of your awareness.
When something is held back or something is left unsaid in, a shadow blocks intimacy and connection weakens.
Too many shadows the intimacy fades or becomes convoluted and confusing. The process of conscious relationship is one of staying fully open. Transparent. Loving. No matter what. Even when the difficult emotions are triggered and one feels dread, fear, abandoned, lost, alone, rejected, anxious, insecure or misunderstood.
These are moments in relationship when you shut the other person out or down. When you do not want them to see you in a particular way, be that way, feel that way, or act that way because when they are like that, they do not give you what you want or need.
When two people do the work of staying open to difficult emotion it creates an opportunity for intimacy to surface beyond projections and fantasies.
You are seen and loved for who you are, not who you need to be to make a person feel a certain way.
Relationships are opportunity to practice intimacy, opening up and revealing all of yourself to another who holds you in unconditional love in that light the shadows are dissolved by love as you hold each other in the process of waking up and release old trauma.
This is the path of Conscious Relationships.
‘We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are.’
Unaware of your shadows you may only encounter them through other people, in the form of projections.
You may tend to see in other people the qualities and characteristics that comprise your shadow; that is, everything that you think is “not you.”
Just think for a moment of your like and dislikes.
Relationships do not mirror your ego back to you; rather, they mirror back your shadow, the other, unacknowledged half of your Inner Self.
Defined by your willingness to stay open and share and hold each other as your shadows arises. Defined by your ability to recognise when you are triggered, and to own your emotional states rather than project them onto others. Defined by your ability to hold each other in love when you are in a difficult emotional state.
A way to change this involves you taking the time to get to know yourself to avoid repeating unwanted patterns in relationships and circumstances.
As a result, synchronicities and miracles start to occur. You begin to live in a flow where the possibilities are endless.
The secret to living in flow is to become conscious of your shadow self – the part you do not know and learn to integrate it to become whole.
You may think your personality is who you are.
Blind spots prevent you from having conscious relationships with yourself and others.
Learning to release them is important to be able to create happy loving relationships with yourself and everyone around you and wake up your inner power and attract the relationships you want.
The shadow is that part of you that erupts spontaneously and unexpectedly when you behave in a destructive way to yourself or another person. The aftermath may leave you feeling humiliated, ashamed, and guilty. The shadow is that part of you that feels like it cannot be tamed or controlled.
There are cultural shadows held by groups of people – topics that are not commonly spoken about are held in the collective shadow, as taboo, forbidden topics or areas.
The shadow is anything that is unacceptable to you, anything that is hidden or denied including what what you want to hide from, what you do not want to know about yourself.
Are you familiar with blame? The one thing you may never ask for yet give freely. Essentially, blame is projection; it is your personality recognising your shadow.
An emotionally mature or genuine love develops with a mutually empathic connection between two people, which nourishes both of your mental, physical and emotional growth and capacity for compassion and self-actualization.
The neurochemistry of love relationships can merge into a dangerous mix of drugs more difficult to part with than alcohol, cocaine or heroine.
When you can’t let go of resentment and keep feeding your anger by continually pointing out everything the other person is doing and has done wrong, blaming him/her for your pain, then this issue is deeper and relates to your childhood wounding which is coming to surface. It relates to your needs not being met or old wounds from past relationships you haven’t fully processed and let go of are being reactivated. The same goes if you keep diminishing yourself with guilt and shame, making yourself feel worthless. It relates to your inner child that is carrying wounds you have not made conscious yet.
The wiring of your sensory brain and body when not modulated by your consciousness (awareness to influence decision making) can leave you susceptible to falling in love with the state of “falling in love” This can create powerful Sensory cravings that can switch off the frontal cortex (ability to consciously think and make optimal choices). Addictions can be a controlling factor in your life and relationships. Biologically speaking the human body is wired to gravitate toward what produces comfortable, feel-good sensations in you while also avoiding what produces pain and discomfort. The purpose of this design feature is to prompt you to both survive and thrive. Your body reminds you to avoid what is unhealthy, harmful or a threat to your survival, or to move towards fulfilling core drives that matter and create meaningful lives.
The state of falling in love, creates sensory signals consisting of a potent mix of chemicals, which have the power to change the sophisticated communication system between your Mind/ Body tampering with your ability to make healthy choices towards favouring intoxicating demands and quick feel good fixes.
If you experience fear or mistrust, your sensory system takes over.
Feel good hormones have the power to hinder your ability to make good choices, and hold your authentic wise-self (frontal cortex) captive, in a virtual prison of sorts, deceived by limiting unconscious beliefs and illusions of love and power.
Without consciousness your unconscious mind/body can not distinguish between pain or pleasure or that which threatens rather than promotes your growth and wellbeing and aliveness.
Discomfort is an essential part of growth, physical, mental and emotional; unnecessary pain leads to suffering. Pleasure is an emotional and physiological yearning for health and wellness, a sense of feeling good about your self and your capacity to contribute to life, create healthy, vibrant relationships that sustain you. Pleasure at the expense of your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing leads to needless and endless suffering of an addiction.
Learning how to receive and give love to yourself and another person is a great learning curve and challenge – it is not for the faint-hearted.
Addiction can be seen as pleasure-seeking, pain-avoiding, or seeking a quick-fix to have a sense of power or control even though it is temporary creating a false sense of self which ultimately avoids dealing with your shadow self. Working with the shadow can better help you integrate parts that thwart your intentions from forming conscious and healthy relationships. “Falling in love” can be seen as a beginning stage of a relationship which if nurtured can create genuine love with another person.
When you work on your shadow and uncover the character that is hiding within you. Uncovering its needs, what it is communicating to you, how you feel when it arises you, how you relate to it. It begins to lose its compulsive quality and does not drive you as much. When it releases its grip you are able to hear your authentic self – your internal intuitive and wise voice wisdom, the part of you that knows what is the right action. Jung suggested that that if we can shed a little light on our own darkness, it will remove some of the larger darkness from the world.
Timing
The right people will arrive at precisely the right time. Let your words be bricks in the foundations of the bridges others are striving to build. Let the wisdom gained through your committed intimacy be fruitful. Let love be your guide. And let your love speak profoundly
The true power and creativity unleashed from the shadow is your ability to see clearly and master the art of conscious relationships.
Learn more about discovering and integrating your shadow, bring your true self out of shadow and into the light.
On the workshop you will learn ways to transforming parts of your character with compassion and understanding, to find balance within all your relationships.
Begin the process of positive change on this interactive learning and growth experience.
Join me for the next workshop it is suitable for all
Image by Scott Wilton
Living from the Heart:
T 07855 781 210
S aishaali
E admin@livingfromtheheart.co.uk
Aisha Ali is a much sought after relationship specialist. She is known for her intuitive insight, she is very skilled at getting to the core of issues and helping individuals and couples transform unwanted repeated patterns. Her clients experience support clarity, awareness and a sense of peace, balance and accomplishment.